IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Teenagers nowadays spend a huge amount of time on social networking sites (such as Facebook). Some people think that these platforms adversely affect teenagers while others believe students can enjoy much of the network's benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some say that
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 waste most of their time on social media
while
Linking Words
 others argue that
teenagers
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
gt
Correct your spelling
get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
benefits from these online platforms. In my opinion,
teenagers
Use synonyms
 tend to spend too much time on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 which can
reach
Verb problem
lead
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 to interpersonal skills issues and emotional management. Excessed Social networking usage
tends to
Verb problem
has
show examples
rise
Wrong verb form
risen
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 among
teenagers
Use synonyms
 in the past few years
due to
Linking Words
 uncontrollable social media companies. Gen Alpha and Z are affected by the influence of the online platform the most because
this
Linking Words
 young generation
were
Change the verb form
was
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 born during the upcoming of technology in daily life. Despite overusing social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
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, some say that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 could still receive useful information and get an advantage from
this
Linking Words
 platform. Most
teenagers
Use synonyms
 are with online platforms all the time which
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 them
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 to gain critical thinking skills on absorbing new information and adapting to technology
easier
Correct word choice
more easily
show examples
 than the previous generations.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your opinion and summarizes both views more effectively. Consider rephrasing for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Try to create clearer topic sentences for each paragraph that relate back to your main argument. This will improve the logical flow and structure.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs, making the text easier to follow.
task achievement
Your essay introduces the topic well and acknowledges both sides of the argument, which is a good practice for this type of discussion.
task achievement
You've provided a relevant example of how younger generations are influenced by technology, showing an understanding of the context.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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