IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Teenagers nowadays spend a huge amount of time on social networking sites (such as Facebook). Some people think that these platforms adversely affect teenagers while others believe students can enjoy much of the network's benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some say that
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers

It seems that teenager may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 waste most of their time on social media
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 others argue that
teenagers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
gt
Correct your spelling
get

If you don’t want gt to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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benefits from these online platforms. In my opinion,
teenagers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 tend to spend too much time on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet

The word internet should be capitalized in this context.

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 which can
reach
Verb problem
lead

There may be a verb use issue here.

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 to interpersonal skills issues and emotional management. Excessed Social networking usage
tends to
Verb problem
has

There may be a verb use issue here.

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rise
Wrong verb form
risen

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb rise. Consider changing it.

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 among
teenagers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in the past few years
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 uncontrollable social media companies. Gen Alpha and Z are affected by the influence of the online platform the most because
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 young generation
were
Change the verb form
was

The plural verb were does not appear to agree with the singular subject generation. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 born during the upcoming of technology in daily life. Despite overusing social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks

It seems that network may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, some say that
teenagers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 could still receive useful information and get an advantage from
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 platform. Most
teenagers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 are with online platforms all the time which
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives

It seems that the verb give does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 them
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities

If you don’t want oppotunities to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to gain critical thinking skills on absorbing new information and adapting to technology
easier
Correct word choice
more easily

There may be an adjective issue here.

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 than the previous generations.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your opinion and summarizes both views more effectively. Consider rephrasing for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Try to create clearer topic sentences for each paragraph that relate back to your main argument. This will improve the logical flow and structure.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs, making the text easier to follow.
task achievement
Your essay introduces the topic well and acknowledges both sides of the argument, which is a good practice for this type of discussion.
task achievement
You've provided a relevant example of how younger generations are influenced by technology, showing an understanding of the context.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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