IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people decide to have children later in their life, what could be the reasons. advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Having children late is becoming a trend these days as individuals prefer understanding each other before thinking about kids. It could be several causes and the following paragraph will discuss its disadvantages. First of all, with
the
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growing maturity many physical restrictions hinder the ability
of conceiving
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to conceive
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baby
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a baby
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. Usually, younger plan to get married at the life of 30,
eventually
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but eventually
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, they decide to have a child almost 3 years after marriage. So that, they can know about each other and can spend sufficient
time
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 together. Even, one survey of national newspapers depicted that women after 28 begin taking multivitamins to keep their body fit and healthy. So definitely, at the age of 33 ladies start feeling weakness which leads to problems of conceiving
baby
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a baby
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 or sometimes delivering the infant.
Secondly
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, As couples prioritise financial stability over family planning, that means they are ready to delay extending family
instead
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 of managing personal and professional life at the same
time
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.
Last
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 but not least, having a baby comes with great responsibilities, which inculcates the feeling of fear in young couples. Because
,
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 people live in nuclear families nowadays and they do not have the support of parents and grandparents.
Hence
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, all the pressure goes on their shoulders
what
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that
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 they are not prepared to take as they already struggle with office tasks and targets. After, considering these factors one chooses to have children later in life once one accomplishes the goals they are working for. And they are able to spend
time
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 with their kids without any stress of a career.
To conclude
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, undoubtedly, the cons of having kids at the age of 30 plus are far more. And,
this
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 happens
due to
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 a lot of reasons
such
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 as lack of family support, afraid of taking the whole burden on their shoulders, and willingness to spend more
time
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 together .

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task achievement
Consider providing more balanced arguments by discussing both advantages and disadvantages clearly. Currently, the focus is mainly on the disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to present clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve logical structure.
task achievement
Try to include more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your points, particularly in support of your claims about challenges faced by couples who delay having children.
task achievement
The essay presents a relevant topic and addresses the prompt well, discussing reasons for delaying having children.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction sets the stage for the discussion nicely, indicating the trend of having children later in life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic stability
  • financial security
  • professional development
  • educational pursuits
  • family planning
  • societal norms
  • diverse family structures
  • reproductive technology
  • IVF (In Vitro Fertilization)
  • life expectancy
  • personal fulfillment
  • delayed parenthood
  • career advancement
  • later-in-life parenthood
  • demographic shifts
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