IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that online education is an effective alternative to traditional classroom learning, while others think that face-to-face learning is essential for quality education. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Over the
last
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 few years, the question
whether
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of whether
show examples
education
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 has become one of the most controversial ones in many parts of the world.
While
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 some
people
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 strongly believe the opinion that online learning is much more comfortable and one of the best ways to get knowledge in
Correct article usage
a short-time
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short-time
Correct your spelling
short time
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 period, there
other
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are other
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people
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 who think and support that traditional learning is the best in any period and
this
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 learning way always be efficient. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 I will discuss both points of
view
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 and I will provide my personal
view
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. On the one hand, it is commonly argued by some groups of
people
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 that if
students
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 study their lessons
with
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apply
show examples
online, they have more opportunities. The first argument that they bring in order to enhance their point of
view
Use synonyms
 is that online
education
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
keen
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are keen
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 on using digital technologies.
For example
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, my elder brother had to learn his academic studies from
distance
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a distance
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in
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during
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COVID-19
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the COVID-19
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 pandemic period. He had
not
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no
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 knowledge and
any
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no
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 experience
how
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with how
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 to use
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
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 and learn online
module
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modules
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. But after a year he did not face any
barrier
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barriers
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 on a using
computer
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computers
show examples
. Another reason why
them
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they
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 claim is that online
education
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gave chance
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gives
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students
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 to not
loose
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lose
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 their time and it
save
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saves
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 much more money
to
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on
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 travel expenses.
That is
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 why if you learn in distance study you have opportunities to save your time and money. You have not spent time
in
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on
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a
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the
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 road or public
transportations
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transportation
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 to go
school
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to school
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 or extraordinary lessons.
On the other hand
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, despite mentioned
counter arguments
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counterarguments
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, it is thought by others that traditional
education
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 is essential to improve communicational and social skills. They think
this
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 is true mainly
due to
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 the fact that not only
students
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 can learn in school but
also
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, they learn how to become
friend
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friends
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in
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with
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 each other classmates and learn social communicational skills. Another main reason that they bring is that they have
chance
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a chance
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 to attend any kind of events,
such
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 as
,
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apply
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sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 competitions, drama, art and learn how musical instruments are played. In online
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education
Add a comma
education,
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 there are not
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this
Correct pronoun usage
these
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performs
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performances
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.
Thus
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, it makes clear that they can show their talents in school and find status.
To sum up
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,
although
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 some
people
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 support the idea that online study is
epic
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an epic
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 way out to achieve results in learning,
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while
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apply
show examples
others advocate that face-to-face learning is much more effective. From my personal point of
view
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that
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apply
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real benefits and high results are often observed in traditional learning.

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task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. For instance, you could provide more detailed examples or explanations to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your paragraphs by using linking phrases more effectively, which will enhance the reader's understanding of your argumentation.
coherence and cohesion
Consider revising for grammar and sentence structure, as some sentences are difficult to follow. Clearer sentences will help convey your ideas better.
task achievement
You have made an effort to discuss both views, which is commendable and shows that you understand the task requirements.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly indicates that you will discuss both sides of the argument, which is a good approach.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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