IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

In recent years, governments
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been allocating a substantial amount of public funds
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
arts
Use synonyms
. It is argued that
such
Linking Words
 funding is
Correct article usage
a
show examples
waste of financial resources, and it should
redirected
Verb problem
be redirected
show examples
 to other sectors ,
such
Linking Words
 as health care, education or infrastructure.
While
Linking Words
 I acknowledge that preserving art is crucial to protect
culture
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
 identity, I believe that
state
Correct article usage
the state
show examples
 should
prioritize
Use the right word
prioritise
show examples
Correct article usage
the
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basic needs of the public in
urgency
Replace the word
urgent
show examples
 or certain circumstances.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 view. Supporters of spending on the
arts
Use synonyms
 argue that it plays a vital role in passing traditions and cultures to the next generations.
Although
Linking Words
 in a few cases the preservation of
arts
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 old buildings and
scripits
Correct your spelling
scripts
 might be
bit
Correct article usage
a bit
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 expensive for the government, neglecting to conserve these could result in loss of
self identity
Use the right word
self-identity
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 for a
nation
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 conservation of art is
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only
liability
Correct article usage
a liability
show examples
, it can
also
Linking Words
 be a source of revenue for states.
For instance
Linking Words
, Japan has invested
heavly
Correct your spelling
heavily
 in
maintainning
Correct your spelling
maintaining
ancient buildings and
culture
Use synonyms
,
as a
Linking Words
result
Punctuation problem
result,
show examples
 these
arts
Use synonyms
 are attracting millions of people around the globe, thereby boosting tourism industries and generating income for the government in the form of taxes.
While
Linking Words
 there is no doubt that art has
a
Correct article usage
the
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 potential to foster
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 of a
nation
Use synonyms
, in certain countries, allocating a large amount
funds
Change preposition
of funds
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
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 might
be not
Correct word order
not be
show examples
 an effective strategy.
For example
Linking Words
, in some
nations
Add a comma
nations,
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 poverty, inadequate infrastructure and unemployment are the most pressing
Check wording
issues
show examples
rather than
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
. In
such
Linking Words
 circumstances, if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 is spending a vast amount of money to save
culture
Use synonyms
 or
Use synonyms
arts
Punctuation problem
arts,
show examples
 it
woud
Correct your spelling
would
Verb problem
be completely
show examples
completely a
Correct word order
a completely
show examples
 unrealistic approach.
As a
Change preposition
A
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 poor infrastructure would discourage people
to visit
Change preposition
from visiting
show examples
 the country
regardless
Punctuation problem
, regardless
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 of
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 artistic beauty. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 investing financial resources in
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
 is a beneficial approach as it helps boost
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 and saves history, not all
Use synonyms
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 can adopt
this
Linking Words
 measure to preserve
culture
Use synonyms
 and foster economic growth. In some countries,
prioritizing
Use the right word
prioritising
show examples
 basic needs is
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 realistic and better
startegy
Correct your spelling
strategy
 to ensure
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 well-being of the public.

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planning
Plan your answer with a clear view in each paragraph.
coherence
Use one idea per paragraph and link them with simple words.
grammar
Fix grammar and spell common words to be easy to read.
development
Give a short example for each point to show your idea.
editing
Check punctuation and use full stops between sentences.
content
The writer shows a clear view on the topic.
example
There is a real example about Japan to back a point.
structure
The ending repeats the idea and closes the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
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