IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

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Art
Use synonyms
 plays
Correct article usage
a curcial
show examples
curcial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 role
to represents
Change preposition
in representing
show examples
the culture or nation's
indintity
Correct your spelling
identity
.Some people argue
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
money
Correct word choice
that money
show examples
 spent on
art
Use synonyms
 by the government is not worth it, it should be spent on other better sectors
such
Linking Words
 as medical or schooling.I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as
art
Use synonyms
 is
valuable
Add an article
a valuable
show examples
 part of any nation's history and it has
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
show examples
 to generate revenue so eventually it is not
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
. The primary reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
art
Use synonyms
 is to preserve cultural heritage .
For example
Linking Words
,In developed countries , Museums and
art
Use synonyms
 galleries have Renaissance
art
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as paintings , weapons,
agricultural
Correct word choice
and agricultural
show examples
 tools which allows future and current
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
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get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
 familiar with their traditions
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads to old
tradtion
Correct your spelling
traditions
 keep alive.
Although
Linking Words
 it is expensive to preserve the
art
Use synonyms
 , it is a powerful form of artistic expression . The second important reason
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
continuing spending
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 on
art
Use synonyms
 is it has
Correct article usage
the
show examples
potential to
genrate
Correct your spelling
generate
 Revenue . The aesthetic appeal of
art
Use synonyms
 attracts
toruists
Correct your spelling
tourists
from all over the world which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
Correct article usage
the
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 prosperity of the countries .Spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
tradional
Correct your spelling
traditional
art
Use synonyms
 is
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
 of
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
investment which can lately return
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a good profit.
For instance
Linking Words
, countries
such
Linking Words
 as India ,
bangladesh
Change the capitalization
Bangladesh
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 has
rich
Add an article
a rich
show examples
 and old
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
which
preserved
Add a missing verb
were preserved
show examples
 by the governments in 1977, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 now
genrating
Correct your spelling
generating
 millions of USD dollars for them in the form of tourism. In conclusion, in order to preserve cultural
inditity
Correct your spelling
identity
 it is important to continuing grant funds for
art
Use synonyms
gallries
Correct your spelling
galleries
 and museums and
art
Use synonyms
 has
also
Linking Words
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
 to
generates
Wrong verb form
generate
show examples
 income for the government in the form of tourism .

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language
Make sure to check spelling for words like 'crucial' and 'identity.'
content
Add more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning specific paintings or art forms would be helpful.
cohesion
Ensure that there is a more consistent use of linking words to improve the flow of your ideas.
argument
You present a clear position that you disagree with the view that government spending on arts is a waste.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
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