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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

All societies have their own music and art in what ways music and art is important for the society and for individual

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Music and craft are valuable assets to society, with every culture having its own unique taste in melodies and artistic background,
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 tool unites the masses within a similar neighbourhood.
This
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 essay will
further
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 elaborate on the personal and social benefits of
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 trend and
thus
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 will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
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, the first and foremost reason behind
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 is that individuals are emotionally attached to their historical artistry and instrumental melodies, people often prefer listening to songs in their native language, and
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this
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 practice into their daily routine helps to reduce mental health problems
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 as
,
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apply
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 anxiety, depression and stress. Another striking benefit in
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 regard is that classical songs and musical instruments play a crucial role in defining the moral values and dignity of a culture.
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, many sporting events begin with the national anthem, an activity that alleviates enthusiasm for the game and connects populations of the same nationality. Probing
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, one of the main underlying reasons is that historical arts and crafts form the foundation of a rich culture. Handcrafted items and local souvenirs are the main centres of the tourism industry.
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, local testimonials attract the attention of foreigners, who are often willing to pay a decent amount to purchase these unique items.
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, it harnesses the socio-economic aspect of society and receives an international platform for its artwork.
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, classical arts and monuments now serve as a medium for storytelling and the preservation of heritage. To recapitulate,
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 the arguments, one reaches the conclusion that music and craftsmanship foster significant values in both community and individual lives. Music connects people within the same state and helps reduce mental health problems,
whereas
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 crafts and artistry reflect the historical heritage and attract tourists.

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task achievement
Expand on certain points with more detailed explanations or examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using more varied linking phrases to enhance the flow and connection between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a well-rounded structure.
task achievement
The connection between music, art, and mental health is articulated effectively, showing good understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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