In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose art subjects (example literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (example physics). Why do you think is so? Should this tendency be changed?
It is becoming a new trend in several societies, especially in schools, that male students prefer science subjects and female students prefer art subjects. There are causes of
this
issue and solutions that should be considered to tackle this
problem, which I will elaborate on below.
Perhaps the major reason why this
happens is that gender stereotypes and societal expectations often shape individual choices, suggesting that art is more feminine and science is more masculine. This
stems from our ancestors, who believed that men were more reliable and women
were assigned lighter tasks. To illustrate, famous scientists are mostly men and rarely even women
. This
reason has led to the establishment of a major in society, especially for students.
Moving to solutions, In the modern era, this
tendency should be changed with thinking that is
not based on our ancestors, so that everyone has the right to choose what subjects he wants, no matter whether he is male or female. In addition
, gender equality should be implemented so that there is no big gap in society. This
means that the work in the future will be more impartial,
so that no one judges that the capacity of men is above that of Remove the comma
apply
women
. This
will open up opportunities for women
in jobs.
In conclusion, the situation of imbalance formed by the concept of gender has existed for a long time since our ancestors, but as times change, this
situation and mindset in society must be changed so that there is no discrimination in the environment.Submitted by bonarpasaribuu on
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task achievement
While your essay provides a clear answer to the prompt, including both causes and solutions, it could benefit from more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your argument. Try to incorporate real-world instances or data to support your points.
task achievement
The ideas are generally clear and well-explained. However, some sections can be developed further for greater clarity. Ensure that each point is detailed and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
The flow is good, but connection between paragraphs can be enhanced with more transition words, such as 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' or 'Conversely.' This will help improve the overall coherence and make your essay more reader-friendly.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is mostly effective, but try to ensure each paragraph has a single main idea and that each idea is well-developed. In your solution paragraph, separating each solution into its own paragraph may make the essay clearer.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are present and clearly articulate your points, effectively framing the essay.
logical structure
Your essay is logically structured, with a clear progression from causes to solutions.
logical structure
You have made effective use of connecting phrases within paragraphs, contributing to overall readability.
complete response
You address both parts of the task—why the phenomenon occurs and what might be done about it—ensuring a complete response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.