IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below compares the number of visitors to two new music sites on the web. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below compares the number of visitors to two new music sites on the web. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line chart illustrates the
comparation
Correct your spelling
comparison
 in
Correct article usage
the numbers
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numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of guests to two online music websites in 15 days.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the trend
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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fluctuated in both sites throughout the
beriod
Correct your spelling
period
.
In addition
Linking Words
, music choice witnessed more views than
pop
Add an article
a pop
the pop
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 parade.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, music choice has been visited by just under
120 000
Correct your spelling
120,000
 people
in
Change preposition
on
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day
Use synonyms
 1.
Then
Linking Words
 they declined up to the seventh
day
Use synonyms
 when it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
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approximately
35 000
Correct your spelling
35,000
 visitors. The rate
remained
Verb problem
apply
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fluctuated until the
last
Linking Words
day
Use synonyms
where
Correct word choice
when
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 it reached a peak with around
180 000
Correct your spelling
180,000
 guests. In terms of
pop
Add an article
the pop
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 parade,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the first
Use synonyms
day
Add a comma
day,
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 the views were just under 40
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
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,
while
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in
Change preposition
on
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 the second
Use synonyms
day
Add a comma
day,
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 it decreased to around
the
Correct article usage
apply
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half. The
day
Use synonyms
 after it increased to approximately 60
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
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. Guests before it dropped again. The
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of visitors witnessed fluctuation until
day
Use synonyms
 11 before a sudden increase
happen
Wrong verb form
happened
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.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 14 the number was around 130 thousand which was a peak.
Then
Linking Words
 it went down suddenly to just over 60 000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words day with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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