Nowadays, many people spend less and less time at home. What are the *causes* of this? What are the effects of this on individuals and on the society?

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These days, it is increasingly common to observe that more and more
individuals
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are spending less
time
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at
home
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.
This
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phenomenon can be attributed to several reasons, and it clearly has various impacts on both
individuals
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and society as a whole. There are multiple causes for why people today do not spend much
time
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at
home
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.
To begin
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with, many
individuals
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are overwhelmed by their hectic schedules.
While
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adults must dedicate their
time
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and effort to work harder for higher income or promotion opportunities,
children
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who are students have numerous classes at school and attend many extracurricular activities.
For example
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, after spending 8 hours at the workplace, employees may need to meet clients or participate in important conferences,
whereas
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children
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often go to English
centers
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centres
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or study with tutors in the evenings after school.
Additionally
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, when people do have spare
time
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, they tend to prefer hanging out and
traveling
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travelling
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with friends, which means they do not stay at
home
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regularly. From my perspective,
this
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trend may have significant effects on both
individuals
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and society.
First,
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regarding
individuals
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, it can be detrimental to spend less
time
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at
home
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, as they may lose their connection with family members.
For instance
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, parents and
children
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may no longer share mealtimes or watch TV together, which are essential for maintaining a close-knit family, and
instead
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frequently have lunch with colleagues or play with classmates.
However
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,
this
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trend may
also
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bring about some positive impacts on our community, as
individuals
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tend to spend more money when they go out,
such
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as dining at restaurants, buying coffee, or staying at hotels during vacations. Clearly,
this
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could help a country's economy thrive considerably. In conclusion, many people are spending less and less
time
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at
home
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.
This
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is primarily because adults must work,
children
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must study, and their free
time
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is often dedicated to social activities.
Although
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this
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trend may be beneficial for the public, it can adversely affect each person's relationship with their family.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to illustrate the points made in the causes section. For instance, detail the types of extracurricular activities children engage in or particular scenarios where adults are busy with work.
Task Achievement
In the effects section, expanding on the positive aspects of spending less time at home could provide a more balanced view. For example, discuss how socializing can improve mental health or create new opportunities.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions into the next to improve the overall flow of the essay. This can be done by using linking phrases or summarizing statements at the end of each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and clearly states the two aspects to be explored: causes and effects.
Task Achievement
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the key points made in the essay, reinforcing the main idea.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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