IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You recently bought a camera while travelling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items were missing from the box. Write a letter to the local representative of the company. In your letter give details of the camera and where you bought it explain what has happened say what you want him/her to do about it

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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to complain about a missing 300mm lens in my camera box purchased on December 22, 2024, at
Toronto
Correct article usage
the Toronto
show examples
 Eaton Centre in Mississauga, Canada.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it was a black Nikon D3300 camera including a charger and manual and it should have included the 300mm lens too . Please allow me to explain the situation; on the day of purchase, I was running late for my departure to India and
as a result
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 of
this
Linking Words
 I did not get the time to check the accessories in the box.
However
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, it was very upsetting to find out about the missing item when I was showing it to my friends there.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I would be very grateful if you could arrange to deliver the lens.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, I would like you to refund some of the amount via e-transfer
,
Remove the comma
apply
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so that I can purchase a new one. I hope you will take my complaint into consideration and reply to me as soon as possible. Regards, Manpreet Singh

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task achievement
Ensure all necessary details are covered in the letter, which you have done well in this response.
task achievement
Consider expanding on the impact of the missing item for enhanced engagement, although the explanation is clear.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear structure, which you have achieved well with a logical flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a single idea, as achieved here, for clarity and coherence.
task achievement
The tone is polite and formal, which is suitable for a complaint letter.
coherence cohesion
There's a clear greeting and closing that adds to the overall coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • local representative
  • important items missing
  • purchase details
  • model and brand
  • missing accessories
  • inconvenience
  • use to its full extent
  • urgent request
  • partial refund
  • alternative solution
  • exchange unit
  • correct the issue
  • look forward to your prompt response
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