IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that online couses are becoming more amd more popular and offlines courses are less important. While others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is a debate over whether online
courses
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 are more effective than physical
courses
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. In my opinion, online
courses
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 are far more suited to our lifestyle today because they are more diverse and accessible. On the one hand, traditional offline
courses
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 offer a structured learning experience with the instructor being physically available which makes interaction with students more effective.
Also
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, these types of classes provide immediate feedback and thought exchange which contributes to improved understanding.
In addition
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, the familiar classroom setting helps students concentrate better.
For example
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, a recent study has shown that 40% of students saw an improvement in their grades when they went back to
schools
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school
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 physically after
COVID-19
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the COVID-19
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 pandemic compared to when they were taking online classes.
On the other hand
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, online
courses
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 are indeed popular today
due to
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 the advancement of technologies and the positive effect of globalization. Since they are online, the variety of options
are
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is
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 endless from all around the world.
Therefore
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, interested individuals do not need to travel to take them but
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instead
Add a comma
instead,
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 they can attend from the comfort of their homes.
In addition
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, they are very flexible and accessible making them more suitable for working people who can take these
courses
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 based on their availability. To give an example, many people are enrolling in online MBA programs
instead
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 of physical ones because they can fit it within their busy schedules. In conclusion,
although
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 face-to-face learning is proven to have positive results and good communication, remote education is more efficient because it provides more options and is more attainable.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the examples provided in your paragraphs to give a more comprehensive view of both sides of the argument. Some additional specific examples could strengthen your argument further.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to the main argument to strengthen coherence. While the ideas flow logically, a clearer link to your thesis in each supporting point may enhance the overall coherence.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, making it clear that you understand the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs for each point, making it easy to follow your argument.
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