time and are under a lot of presssure to work hard on their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, facing a tight deadline and the need to intensely focus on academics
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

significant
pressure
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.Among many reasons
Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Among many reasons. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
society's
Change noun form
society

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
demands rigid
educational
Replace the word
education

The word educational doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
and
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
unconsciousness are mainly liable for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

phenomina
Correct your spelling
phenomena

If you don’t want phenomina to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

can be changed if creative and corrective measures like upgrading the educational system
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

broadcasting community behaviours .
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will elaborate
these
Change preposition
on these

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
materials in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail

It seems that details may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. Education is essential for everyone ;
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,it becomes a matter of
pressure
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

when society creates an
unbalnce
Correct your spelling
unbalance
unbalanced

If you don’t want unbalnce to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

pressure
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on someone.To illustrate ,it can be said that some parents are extra aware of their position in the community and they consider
Correct pronoun usage
their children'a
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
their children'a

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
children'a
Correct your spelling
children's
children
academic results as a scale of their pride.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,when there is no
oppurtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity

If you don’t want oppurtunity to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for play kids simply concentrate on
ther
Correct your spelling
their

If you don’t want ther to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

schoolwork in order to get
a better grades
Correct the article-noun agreement
better grades
a better grade

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun grades in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,there are very few extracurricular activities because the school system is so strict .
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
emplyment
Correct your spelling
employment

If you don’t want emplyment to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

market in these communities places a high value on academic credentials alone;exceptional activities are never sought after ;
Linking Words
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
instead,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase instead. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
the focus is on landing a
well-payed
Correct your spelling
well-paying

The word well-payed doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
job in the future.
Nonetheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the problem might be resolved with a general improvement in social and educational approaches.
First,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the government might create a
well rounded
Add a hyphen
well-rounded

It appears that well rounded is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
study program that includes both study materials and time for
field work
Correct your spelling
fieldwork

The word field work seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the academic evaluation could be completed by combining the two activities. Parents might
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

be more upbeat ,
enocurage
Correct your spelling
encourage

If you don’t want enocurage to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

their kids to unwind and set up daily schedules that
allows
Change the verb form
allow

The singular verb allows does not appear to agree with the plural subject daily schedules. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
for ample free time ,all of which will
boosts
Change the verb form
boost

The verb boosts after the modal verb will does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
mental health.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,BBC researchers
has
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject researchers. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
shown that children who have less study time and leisure options do better ,grow into strong individuals and adopt a positive outlook in life. In conclusion,it may be claimed that socioeconomic factors and flawed educational systems
directly
Add a missing verb
are directly

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
to blame for the negative
pressure
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

placed on students,which prevent them from
enanging
Correct your spelling
engaging

If you don’t want enanging to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in
Correct article usage
a nations

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
nations
Change noun form
nation's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
future prosperity ,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

phenomenon could be altered by implementing a comprehensive development process that encompasses the educational system and public opinion.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly outline your thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader through your essay. Use connecting phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.
task achievement
Clarify your arguments and provide more supporting details or examples to give depth to your points. This will improve the comprehensive understanding of your ideas.
task achievement
You've identified relevant issues related to societal pressure and education, showing understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas have a logical progression and relate to the central topic, which is crucial for effective communication.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: