IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closue of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying that the wide range of
supermarkets
Use synonyms
 in the world can bring many problems to those who began with
their
Change the pronoun
the
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 small project that made them no longer to complete its project's gain and their work will be moved very slightly. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss why I strongly agree that the expansion of
supermarkets
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 can affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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small shoppes.
Firstly
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, the expansion of the numbers of
supermarkets
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 in some countries by online advertisements
,
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could help the markets to be strong and sell their product very smoothly,
whereas
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, it affects
on
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apply
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other public
who
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whom
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are just beginning to open their small shops,
such
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 as
people
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 who left their carries to start with their own project so they can bring
a
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apply
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money to live, so it will affect the small private companies.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the right of
supermarkets
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 to gain success in their own sales
is
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collapses the economic life of younger
people
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 who didn't graduate from college to go to the street so they can work
,
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apply
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 if rich
people
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 who own these large markets don't encourage unemployment
people
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 to work in a different small shop, the unemployment will increase and that will impact on the economy of the country. In conclusion,
in
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apply
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spite
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despite
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of
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apply
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people
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 who have a lot of money to open a supermarket
contain
Verb problem
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every
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things
that is
Linking Words
 influenced by young and
people
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 who don't have certificates to open their small business
whereas
Linking Words
 they can improve's skills.

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task achievement
Make sure to present a clear argument in the introduction, stating your position explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Use more precise language and grammar to enhance clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points, as this will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear viewpoint on the impact of supermarkets on local businesses.
coherence and cohesion
There are attempts to structure the argument into different points, which is a good approach to essay writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • homogenization
  • economies of scale
  • cultural diversity
  • local economy
  • natural economic progression
  • social hubs
  • community interactions
  • personal relationships
  • job losses
  • unique products and services
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