IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some products can be made quickly by a machine. Other items take a long time to be made by hand. As a buyer, which do you prefer and why? Give specific details and examples in your answer

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Every day
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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 have to choose products but they don't know how they were made, by humans or machines. 70% of clients prefer handmade items because they consider that they are better quality.
Industries
Use synonyms
 have to be sensible not only about their profit but
also
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 nation, and their job position. Nowadays, it's very common to find people who are concerned about their job position
in on
Change preposition
at
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 risk, especially who work for a factory. Almost everyone has heard about the AI irruption in the world.
This
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 technology has
also
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 been adopted by tools in order to become smarter.
Due to
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 that fact, smart tools are highly attractive for
industries
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 and factories where
eployees
Correct your spelling
employees
 do repetitive tasks,
for instance
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, a supply chain. These kinds of artefacts have been designed to do the same tasks as a human worker, even better.
According to
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 studies, they are 50% faster and more accurate than common employees.
Also
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, machines can work for longer periods of time and don't need to take a break. It allows companies to produce more items, cut down mistakes and be faster compared to humans. As far, everything sounds really good.
However
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, we must be sensible
due to
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 if too
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
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 smart devices are introduced in
industries
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, millions of families could be at risk. That technology could be profitable for companies but a disadvantage to families. Another study assures that
last
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 year around 45.000 bodies were fired from several
industries
Use synonyms
 in Australia. In The USA, a similar amount of bodies lost their jobs
last
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 year. The businesses which have adopted
this
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 system can create the same products as employing traditional workers and its clients hardly ever are able to find differences between both products.
On the other hand
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, statistics claim that introverted people are often interested in acquiring stuff handmade because they appreciate
this
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 kind of product and work effort.
Overall
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, I used to prefer to buy handmade things
due to
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 I believe their quality is broadly better.
In addition
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, as far as I'm concerned, society is not ready to introduce 100% smart devices and replace traditional workers.

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your main points and states your preference more explicitly. A strong introduction sets the tone for the rest of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader. This would improve the overall logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or details to support your opinions throughout the essay. This could enhance clarity and engagement with the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Consider refining your conclusion to restate your main points more effectively, creating a stronger ending to your argument.
task achievement
You present a relevant opinion on the topic and provide insight into modern concerns regarding job security due to automation, which is an important aspect of the discussion.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the potential impacts of technology on the workforce effectively, showing awareness of societal issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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