IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays many elderly people live alone and this can cause a variety of problems. What are some of these problems and what solutions can you suggest?

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The elderly
people
Use synonyms
 have been playing a significant role in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society today. The question is, what is the main
problem
Use synonyms
 when living
a lone
Correct your spelling
alone
show examples
? What is a possible solution
of
Change preposition
to
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this
Linking Words
 issue? In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to discuss
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elderly
people
Use synonyms
prone
Add a missing verb
are prone
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 to a number of
risk
Change to a plural noun
risks
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 when living alone. To explain, a large number of
oldest
Correct article usage
the oldest
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 have suffered
many
Change preposition
from many
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 chronic
disease
Change the noun form
diseases
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such
Linking Words
 as
blood
Correct word choice
high blood
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 pressure and diabetes. So, these categories need to
look
Wrong verb form
be looked
show examples
 for by relatives. In
Linking Words
additionally
Replace the word
addition
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, these
people
Use synonyms
 use some complex
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
that they
show examples
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to
person
Add an article
a person
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 know to
deel
Correct your spelling
deal
 with
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Because that difficult
Fix the infinitive
to
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use by elderly
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
before
Change preposition
apply
show examples
two months my
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
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 who
living
Wrong verb form
lived
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 in
separate
Correct article usage
a separate
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 house died because
the
Change the word
their
her
his
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 blood pressure
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 low.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
problem
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of healthy
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healthy
Replace the word
health
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 is a major
problem
Use synonyms
 of elderly
people
Use synonyms
 living alone.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are a number solution of
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
. To clarify, the government should
awared
Correct your spelling
award
awarded
aware
 the society about necessary visits
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
grand parents
Correct your spelling
grandparents
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
weekly.
Also
Linking Words
, forming
team
Add an article
a team
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 volunteers responsible
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 tack care oldest citizens.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
Omanies
Correct your spelling
Oman
 government allocated a group of nurses to visit
oldest
Correct article usage
the oldest
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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 monthly.
Linking Words
While
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
awareness
Correct article usage
An awareness
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 community about tack care
a
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 elderly
people
Use synonyms
 is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
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, I strongly believe the main
problem
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 is
a the
Choose an article
an
the
show examples
 older age can't deal with
emergency
Add an article
the emergency
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 state.
However
Linking Words
,
awaraning
Correct your spelling
warning
a warning
 society about regular visit
older
Change preposition
to older
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 is a less risk to
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
a lone
Correct your spelling
alone
show examples
.

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Task Achievement
The introduction could be clearer. Consider rephrasing the questions you mentioned and providing a more specific overview of the issues and solutions you will discuss.
Language
Error in grammar (e.g., 'have been playing' vs. 'play') and word choice (e.g., 'a lone' vs 'alone'). Pay attention to correct tense and vocabulary.
Coherence and Cohesion
In the second body paragraph, 'forming team from volunteers' should be 'forming a team of volunteers' for grammatical correctness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be mindful of the use of transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This could strengthen the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
You have provided specific examples to support your points, which is a strong aspect of your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure is generally clear, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Isolation
  • Mental health issues
  • Physical health risks
  • Daily activities
  • Financial difficulties
  • Housekeeping
  • Personal care
  • Medical services
  • Safety concerns
  • Vulnerable
  • Accidents
  • Scams
  • Social interaction
  • Healthcare costs
  • Social services
  • Community-based programs
  • In-home care services
  • Safety measures
  • Subsidize
  • Intergenerational living arrangements
  • Emotional support
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