IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016.

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The pie chart shows the amount of expenditure
in
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apply
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children charity USA amount spent and
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 year, 2016 . In
the
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detail, donated food provided most of the
revenue
Use synonyms
 for the charity
of
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86%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, with regard to expenditures, one category, program services is nearly of the outgoings, at 95.8%. The other categories were much smaller. Community contributions, which were the second largest
revenue
Use synonyms
 source, brought in 10.4% of
overall
Linking Words
 income, and
this
Linking Words
 was
same
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followed by program
revenue
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, at 2.2%. Investment income, government grants, and other income were very small sources of
revenue
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, accounting for only 0.8% combined. In conclusion , program services
has
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have
show examples
an
Change the article
a
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 high expenditure
whereas
Linking Words
, management and general have the least expenditure of 1.6 % of the total amount .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words revenue with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • donations
  • grants
  • fundraising events
  • expenditure
  • administration costs
  • program expenses
  • direct benefits
  • indirect benefits
  • underprivileged children
  • education
  • healthcare
  • shelter
  • nourishment
  • medical treatments
  • basic needs
  • financial sustainability
  • transparency
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