IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

These days Internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university-based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argue that it is important to study at university. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Learning through the online
methods
Use synonyms
 has become the first choice of today's generation since the pandemic . It is argued that some folks think it is an easy way to study at home
instead
Linking Words
 of going
college
Change preposition
to college
show examples
; in order to save money and time ,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that physical classes offer more
benefits
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as practical knowledge , face-to-face interactions , social gatherings and active participation.
However
Linking Words
 , I believe that university-based course provides more
benefits
Use synonyms
 than internet- based. The first and foremost reason why students are giving preference to online
courses
Use synonyms
 is because it is cheaper than university
courses
Use synonyms
. They just need to put less effort into waking up ; no need to dress up properly , and save money and time to commute from one place to another place.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 It gives them a wide range of opportunities to select any module at any time.
However
Linking Words
 , if I talk about university subjects , it provides more opportunities to learn effectively.
Although
Linking Words
 it is time-consuming than the online course, it helps to gain practical
as well as
Linking Words
 theoretical knowledge .
For example
Linking Words
, in the nursing profession ; it is not possible to attend all
courses
Use synonyms
 online , it requires to be present in class.
As a result
Linking Words
 , with the advent of technology, it is not possible to replace the old teaching
methods
Use synonyms
 . In my opinion , it is hard to study
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online mode because it is not
reliable
Add an article
a reliable
show examples
 method
for instance
Linking Words
, when there
will
Verb problem
is
show examples
 an exam the teacher can't predict whether the student has written by himself or he did a cheating .
Thus
Linking Words
 , it is not possible to check and validate results through online mode. Not every course has the opportunity to do online , some
courses
Use synonyms
 need a physical appearance. With the help of class lectures, students can enhance their productivity , and gain confidence
due to
Linking Words
 social interactions and active listening. In conclusion, despite having
benefits
Use synonyms
 of internet-based
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
it is
also
Linking Words
 undeniable to avoid the
benefits
Use synonyms
 of university-based learning
methods
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is true that online
methods
Use synonyms
 have more disadvantages than classes in lectures.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Consider providing clearer distinctions between the two perspectives in the introduction. This will help set up your argument more effectively.
task achievement
When discussing the advantages of online learning, include more specific examples or details to support your claims.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to your main argument and flows logically from one to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
Clarify your position in the conclusion by summarizing the main arguments that support your view on university-based learning.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents the two sides of the argument, which is a good approach for discussing these types of topics.
task achievement
You have included relevant points about practical knowledge and social interactions, which are important factors in the debate about online versus university learning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • self-discipline
  • motivation
  • interaction
  • networking
  • resources
  • facilities
  • extracurricular activities
  • geographical limitations
  • financial constraints
  • personal growth
  • academic learning
  • face-to-face
  • online learning
  • traditional university settings
What to do next:
Look at other essays: