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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What’s your opinion?

Whether or not success is the best measure of intelligence is a highly controversial issue. Many people opine that the amount of progress being made will show how clever a person is
while
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 others hold opposing views.
This
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 essay will look into both perspectives before coming to a conclusion. On one side of the argument, clever pupils usually demonstrate hard work, teamwork and effective problem-solving skills, allowing them to thrive in the work environment and become successful.
For example
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, many years ago, the Kodak camera was invented. During that time, it was used worldwide because it was the first small camera available for usage by the public. The founder was innovative and smart so he was able to create
this
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 camera that once dominated the entire market.
This
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 just shows that being clever leads to accomplishments.
On the other hand
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, others may be successful
due to
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 wealth, connections or just pure luck. Many of the popular influencers have only basic education and credentials but are successful
due to
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 their connections and marketing.
For example
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, One Direction, a band that consists of five members became popular in 2010 after being chosen on the X-Factor Talent Show.
This
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 was
due to
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 publicity by Simon Cowell, rather than their intellectual mind.
Moreover
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, nowadays, TikTok influencers are trending
due to
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 their self-promotion and creative content
that is
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 posted online.
This
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 shows that recognition is influenced by different factors.
Besides
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 that, different cultures have varied definitions of intellectual capacity, which might include social skills, adaptability, and community contributions, rather than just measurable progress. Some of the non-profit organisations are not viewed as flourishing because their main aim is not profit. Even though profit maximisation is not their objective, they should still be considered successful because of their contributions to the community. In conclusion, I strongly believe that intelligence should be assessed through various lenses rather than a single measure like success.
Although
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 success is a contributing factor to proving brilliance, it is not the only factor. There are many different types of intelligence and various factors that prove it. Creative and socially sensitive individuals are usually emotionally intelligent, with a high EQ
while
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 hardworking and serious people have a high IQ.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the essay structure, explicitly stating what will be discussed in each paragraph.
task achievement
In your examples, try to connect them more distinctly back to the main argument to reinforce your points.
task achievement
Consider expanding on how cultural differences influence the perception of intelligence, perhaps with an example or case study.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by discussing both perspectives effectively, demonstrating critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of varied vocabulary and sentence structures enhances the readability of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • success
  • intelligence
  • measure
  • achievements
  • accomplishments
  • academic degrees
  • creativity
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving
  • critical thinking
  • cultural perspectives
  • adaptability
  • community contributions
  • limitations
  • socio-economic status
  • opportunities
  • multi-faceted
  • assessed
  • lenses
What to do next:
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