An increasing number of people are now using the Internet to meet new people and socialize. Some people think this has brought people closer together, while others think people are becoming more isolated. Discuss both views and give your opinion. hahihuha

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in the fourth industrial revolution, the Internet is improving in all areas of business, making friends. Some bourgeois say that
this
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has brought
crowd
Correct article usage
the crowd
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closer together,
while
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others believe that
this
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has fostered connections between bodies.Two aforementioned views are discussed thoroughly in the paraphrase before presenting in the conclusion. on the one hand, there are many reasons why some crowd believe that social media makes folk become more cut off. Online communities engrossed everyone mostly young bodies thanks to the appeal it brings.
Therefore
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, young
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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overuse the online world and become out of touch with reality. The most evident evidence for
this
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is the increasing time to use social networks in teenagers without spending time going out to work through platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Thread, TikTok, and WeChat. At the same time, the flexing on social networks is not difficult to see from which population
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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pressure on themselves to cause self-esteem in themselves.
on the other hand
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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strongly believe that using the internet has brought
public
Correct article usage
the public
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closer together. It creates opportunities to meet
community
Correct article usage
the community
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with the same passion and interests through forums.
Then
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, it supports maintaining relationships like family even far away. It was so easy to communicate and interact with applications like Twitter, and Zalo so they could add friends in all countries. In short, using virtual communities can meet family in foreign and increase our relationship but if overused by us, we are the one who harms us. In my opinion, the Internet has many advantages for younger now so we need to use it for the right purpose.

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clarity
Improve clarity of your ideas by using simpler and more direct sentences. Avoid colloquial phrases such as 'some bourgeois'.
word choice
Be careful with word choice. Phrases like 'cut off' and 'overuse' need more context to clarify your meaning. Aim for more formal language throughout.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and that supporting details are connected clearly to this main idea. Expand on your arguments with more specific examples.
grammar
Make sure personal pronouns like 'I' are capitalized consistently, and pay attention to basic grammar and syntax to enhance professionalism and readability.
relevance
The essay presents both sides of the debate regarding internet use in socializing, demonstrating an understanding of the task.
structure
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and restates the potential impact of the internet on relationships.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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