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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the last decade, there has been an increase in the number of varieties of online courses available to adults. While welcomed as a great opportunity by many students, other student see these courses as a poor substitute for classroom teaching. What are the advantages and disadvantages of studying an online course?

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We live in an age when many
of
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apply
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old
people
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 prefer to
study
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by
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through
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 online classes and it
is got
Verb problem
has
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 a strong
bonding
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bond
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 with
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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by
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apply
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many
pupils
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 in the
last
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 years, whilst other
pupils
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 find that classroom teaching is much profound than online
education
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. In
this
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 essay, I will outline the advantages of taking online courses
such
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 as
it's
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their
show examples
 flexibility,
as well as
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disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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 of being
the
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apply
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ambitious to
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pupils forward
Verb problem
push students to make
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the
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apply
show examples
online
study
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 less successful.
Firstly
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,
The
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apply
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online
education
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 is very popular nowadays
especially
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, especially
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 after Corona virus,
duo
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due
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 to its flexibility which depends
also
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 to their
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people
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people's
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 time,
moreover
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, how they manage their
study
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 time, to
illustatre
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illustrate
this
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 idea, If mothers have a lot of home
responsibility
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responsibilities
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 like
childreen
Correct your spelling
children
, they always like much the online courses
instead
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 of traditional
education
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 in the room, so mothers and
people
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 who participate with other jobs it is very essential and practical for them.
Secondly
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, other students prefer the traditional classroom for teaching in spite of online one, because they believe
the
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apply
show examples
online
education
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 you
loss
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lose
show examples
 sense of
ambitious
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ambition
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 toward the
education
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itselfe
Correct your spelling
itself
, because if
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
Use synonyms
study
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studies
show examples
 at
his
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apply
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home alone
while
Linking Words
 he is busy with his phone or surrounded
with
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by
show examples
 noisy
invironment
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environment
environments
, he will not gain more knowledge and
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
.
such
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 as
pupils
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 who open prerecorded
video
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videos
show examples
while
Linking Words
 they are
sleep
Wrong verb form
sleeping
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 or they
was
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were
show examples
 watching
trend
Replace the word
trending
show examples
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
 on social media. In conclusion, online
education
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 is influenced by some
people
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,
such
Linking Words
 as
whose
Correct your spelling
those
show examples
 who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work and home
responsibility
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibilities
show examples
 like mothers,
although
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, other
people
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 find that online teaching is a poor way regarding to the old one
due to
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 drops
their
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in their
show examples
 level in the subjects.

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task achievement
The introduction provides a general overview but could better outline the main points that will be discussed. Consider rephrasing for clarity and ensuring all parts of the task are addressed clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs can be smoother to enhance overall coherence.
language accuracy
Avoid informal language and aim for a more formal tone. Phrases like 'much profound' or 'loss sense of ambitious' can be rephrased for clarity and correctness.
task achievement
The essay identifies key advantages and disadvantages of online courses, demonstrating an understanding of the topic and addressing the task requirements.
relevant examples
Some relevant examples, such as the experience of mothers balancing responsibilities, are included, providing a personal touch that can engage readers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • online education
  • distance learning
  • virtual classrooms
  • e-learning
  • flexible
  • convenient
  • cost-effective
  • varied
  • self-paced
  • remote
  • interaction
  • socialize
  • feedback
  • motivation
  • discipline
What to do next:
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