Some people think that students in high school should study music as a compulsory school subject. Others believe that such a requirement would be a waste of valuable school study time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, studying

music

Use synonyms

is becoming more popular in

school

Use synonyms

curriculum

Fix the agreement mistake

curricula

show examples

Linking Words

Although some

Correct word choice

Some

show examples

people

thought

Wrong verb form

think

show examples

that

music

Use synonyms

should be a part of

Use synonyms

school

Correct article usage

the school

show examples

syllabus

while

Linking Words

others

Use synonyms

argue that studying

music

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in institutions ,

such

Linking Words

a waste of time . I personally

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Music

Use synonyms

is a

theraphy

Correct your spelling

therapy

and is important for

Use synonyms

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

peace and relaxation. In

this

Linking Words

esaay

Correct your spelling

essay

Change the capitalization

show examples

will elaborate

both

Change preposition

on both

show examples

views and

also

Linking Words

justify my opinion with some relevant examples.

Firstly

Linking Words

, From

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ancient times ,

music

Use synonyms

plays

Wrong verb form

has played

show examples

Change the article

show examples

vital role in every human

being

Change noun form

being's

show examples

life , it helps to come out

from

Change preposition

show examples

depression ,

thus

Linking Words

works as a

theraphy

Correct your spelling

therapy

. In schools , when pupils

would

Verb problem

are

show examples

tired from long

contuniue

Correct your spelling

continuing

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

then

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

helps them to bring peace

Change preposition

show examples

their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

and

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

them feel

refresh

Wrong verb form

refreshed

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, creativity in

curriculum

Add an article

the curriculum

show examples

,made a perfect human as they learn things in

calm

Add an article

a calm

show examples

atmosphere ,not in

hectic

Add an article

the hectic

show examples

surrounding

Fix the agreement mistake

surroundings

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, one

reserach

Correct your spelling

research

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

conducted in one

school

Use synonyms

, in which they made two groups , one group engaged in

music

Use synonyms

lecture

while

Linking Words

others

Use synonyms

did not. In conclusion , they found that the

students

Use synonyms

who

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

played

music

Use synonyms

was more

Verb problem

were

show examples

calm

Correct word choice

calmer

show examples

and

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

more knowledge about studies in comparison with

others

Use synonyms

. On the other side , as every coin has two sides, pros and cons ,

music

Use synonyms

has some disadvantages too. Some

students

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only like

music

Use synonyms

school

Use synonyms

and they neglect other subjects like math , science and

english

Change the capitalization

English

show examples

. They only

wants

Change the verb form

want

show examples

to attend

music

Use synonyms

lecture

Fix the agreement mistake

lectures

show examples

in spite of

others

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, making a

music

Use synonyms

lecture compulsory is a

wastage

Replace the word

waste

show examples

of time . If

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

only

wants

Correct subject-verb agreement

want

show examples

to learn

music

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

how

Add a missing verb

do we

show examples

get doctors , engineers ,

politicians

Correct word choice

and politicians

show examples

for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Change the punctuation

show examples

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

has some demerits

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

their merits outweigh them .

Music

Use synonyms

should be taught in schools . If

Use synonyms

students

Change noun form

student's

students'

show examples

mind is calm and relaxed ,

onlt

Correct your spelling

only

then

Linking Words

they study more .

kaur123kaamlpreetMon Feb 17 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the key points you will discuss. Avoid vague phrases and directly state your position.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to improve the readability and richness of your writing.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammatical errors, as these can distract from your overall message.

task achievement

You have presented both sides of the argument, which is an important requirement of the task.

coherence and cohesion

Your passion for the subject of music comes through in your writing, which engages the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

320 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
cognitive abilities
academic performance
creativity
self-expression
artistic talents
interpersonal skills
pressure
core academic subjects
disengagement
optional subjects
elective subjects

What to do next:

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Some people think that students in high school should study music as a compulsory school subject. Others believe that such a requirement would be a waste of valuable school study time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Students in school and university learn far more from lessons with their teachers compared to other sources, such as the television or the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driveless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driveless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?