Sports today is turning into a business and there are companies involved that sponsors sports with ever growing prize money for the sportsmen as a part of their advertising. Some people agree to this because it has a good effect on the world of sports, other disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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During
this
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day ,
Sports
Use synonyms
had the majority impact on the
world
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so it
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
a
bige
Correct your spelling
big
events
Fix the agreement mistake
event
show examples
and it will
happening
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
under the care of a special sponsor and
orginazation
Correct your spelling
organisation
with a different prize as a plan for their marketing.Some
people
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believe it is good and they are with and I agree but
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
encourage them
.
Correct your spelling
This
this
Linking Words
essay will discuss these different views and I will highlight my opinion.
To begin
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with,the
World
Use synonyms
today is
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
on the way
different
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in different
show examples
directions .if we
Wrong verb form
start
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started
Add the particle
started to
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withe
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
as a part of entertainment it will
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a big
influences
Correct the article-noun agreement
influence
show examples
among
Change preposition
on
show examples
all
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
and it help to
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
a company and business on
this
Linking Words
side ,
while
Linking Words
they know it will
affected
Change the verb form
affect
be affected
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the audience and they will help them to increase their profit
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
random way .
people
Use synonyms
agree because they know it will help both the
sportman
Correct your spelling
sportsman
sportsmen
and companies to enhance their income
then
Linking Words
they will impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their country itself ,to
clearfy
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clarify
it will be
as
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an
show examples
investment
Add an article
an investment
the investment
show examples
it will attract both local and global
audience
Fix the agreement mistake
audiences
show examples
.I am convinced that all will
had
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have
show examples
a good link to develop the country and the tourism sector
for example
Linking Words
if there is a match (football game) the
sponcer
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sponsor
will print the picture of the
sportman
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sportsman
sportsmen
on the cans and
this
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company will
used
Change the verb form
use
show examples
it as a marketing for the water itself.
On the other hand
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,
another
Replace the adjective
other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
disagree because they feel it is unimportant and it
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertising
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
show examples
never affect regardless of the efforts of other
part .
Correct your spelling
parties. In
in addition
Linking Words
they
considering
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
useless and will never help the
world
Use synonyms
or other
people
Use synonyms
.I don't agree ,in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
will make
good
Add an article
a good
the good
show examples
transformation in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all sectors of the
world
Use synonyms
industrial and non-industrial.
To sum up
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, in the present and future
sports
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will
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a
bige
Correct your spelling
big
impact on the
world
Use synonyms
during opened
Change preposition
by opening
show examples
a lot of chance for the different sectors to assist the elements of it to increase the income and profit for all of theme.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the overall structure of your essay by clearly separating each paragraph and ensuring each one has a main idea. Use topic sentences effectively.
task achievement
Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance clarity and sophistication.
task achievement
Provide clearer examples to support your points, making sure they are specific and relevant to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which is important for this task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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