IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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There is an ongoing interest in the impact of trade globalization.
Countries
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 are becoming increasingly similar which is attributed to the fact that people can purchase the same products anywhere across the globe. The question now is whether
this
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 is a positive or a negative change. I believe it is a welcome development, and I will delineate my reasons in
this
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 essay, supported with relevant examples.
To begin
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, one main reason why I believe that it is a benefit when
countries
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 become similar
due to
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 the internationalisation of trade is because it strengthens economic interdependence.
That is
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, by linking different
countries
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'
economy
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economies
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, these
nations
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 are bound by a common goal to access a larger market and generate revenues, they import cheaper goods, and in
turn
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turn,
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 export their products.
This
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 fosters international
corporation
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cooperation
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 between them and helps stifle conflict.
For example
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, studies in the early 20's showed that Nigeria was the major exporter of petroleum. Which granted her a friendly relationship with the most developed
western
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Western
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countries
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 like the U.S. and the U.K. It clearly improves
global
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the global
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 economy.
In addition
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,
although
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 trade globalisation has resulted in the widespread adoption of the global culture, leading to the erosion of local cultural heritage, I would rather opt for its positive impact. It encourages innovation and
industralization
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industrialisation
 particularly, in developing
countries
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. To buttress
this
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, as the world is gradually becoming a global village, it enables people to observe the changes and the progressions in other
nations
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, especially when goods are exchanged .
This
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 instigates an urge for expansion and advancement in the lagging continent.
For instance
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, in the area of technology, history has it that it emerged millions of years ago. The
western
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Western
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nations
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 accessed
this
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 evolution and harnessed it. It has gradually dispersed. The world population has embraced
this
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 innovation over the years, and international sales contributed immensely to
this
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. In conclusion, with the surge in
interdependence
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the interdependence
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 of
countries
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 worldwide,
although
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 has caused
cultural
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the cultural
a cultural
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 loss,
it
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apply
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has shown irrefutable
advantage
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advantages
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 as it reinforces world peace through economic
interdepedence
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interdependence
interdependency
, and facilitates development in less advanced
nations
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.

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task achievement
Consider adding more comprehensive examples to illustrate your points further, as this will strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs flow smoothly from one to another. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect your ideas logically.
coherence and cohesion
Review grammar and punctuation in some sentences for clarity and correctness, particularly in complex sentences.
task achievement
Your introduction articulates your position clearly and outlines the main points of your essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages associated with globalization, allowing for a nuanced discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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