IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, it is possible for people to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In many
countries
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,
people
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 can enjoy a wide variety of
food
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 that has been transported from different parts of the world.
While
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this
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 has several advantages, it
also
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 comes with some drawbacks.
However
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, I believe that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. One of the main advantages of having
access
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 to global
food
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 is that it allows
people
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 to enjoy different cuisines.
This
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 not only makes meals more exciting but
also
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 helps
people
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 to learn about other cultures.
For example
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, in my country, sushi from Japan and pasta from Italy are very popular, and
people
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 can experience international
flavors
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flavours
show examples
 without
traveling
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travelling
show examples
.
This
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 cultural exchange through
food
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 can bring
people
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 closer together. Another benefit is that imported
food
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 provides more options for a balanced diet. Some
countries
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 cannot produce certain fruits or vegetables
due to
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 their climate, but with global
food
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 transportation,
people
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 can still have
access
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 to these nutritious options.
For instance
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, bananas are imported to many cold
countries
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 where they do not grow naturally, allowing
people
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 to enjoy their health benefits.
However
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, there are
also
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 some disadvantages to relying on imported
food
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.
Firstly
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, transporting
food
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 from other
countries
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 can have a negative impact on the environment.
Airplanes
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Aeroplanes
show examples
 and ships that carry
food
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 produce carbon emissions, which contribute to global warming.
Additionally
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, imported
food
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 is often more expensive than local
food
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 because of transportation and storage costs. Some
people
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 may not afford to buy these products regularly. Despite these drawbacks, I believe that the benefits of having
access
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 to a variety of international
food
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 outweigh the disadvantages.
Although
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 it is important to consider the environmental impact, solutions
such
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 as improving transportation efficiency and supporting sustainable farming can help reduce the negative effects. In conclusion, the availability of global
food
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 gives
people
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 the chance to enjoy different cuisines and have a healthier diet. Even though it causes environmental issues and can be expensive, I believe that the advantages are more significant.
Therefore
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, having
access
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 to
food
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 from all over the world is a positive development.

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples or data to further strengthen your arguments, especially in discussing drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use transition words to connect ideas even more clearly and enhance the flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Clear and relevant introduction that presents the main argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, contributing to overall clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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