More and more young people are not interested in working as a teacher. What do you think are the causes? What can be done to encourage young people to choose a teaching career?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, many young graduates
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
significantly
ignoring
Wrong verb form
ignored
show examples
the
profession
Use synonyms
of teaching in both urban and rural areas. The main reason behind
this
Linking Words
could be the Universal Attraction towards modern trending subjects
such
Linking Words
as Artificial intelligence and
Engineering
Correct article usage
the Engineering
show examples
field. Another reason for
this
Linking Words
is, when comparing other fields, only a minimum wage is received by the teaching professionals.  One of the main reasons why
teaching
Correct article usage
the teaching
show examples
profession
Use synonyms
is chosen by a minimum number of
students
Use synonyms
is the attraction towards other professions and young minds are forced to choose from only a few fields. It is mainly
due to
Linking Words
the revolution in Information technology, which eventually increased the
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
requirement.
This
Linking Words
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
numerous job opportunities in various parts of the world. Another aspect
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
is the Lower wage for the
students
Use synonyms
who are joining as
a associate teachers
Correct the article-noun agreement
an associate teacher
associate teachers
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, experienced elementary school teachers are paid comparatively
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
than the average IT employees who are freshers. The fruitful solution for the above concern is to motivate the
students
Use synonyms
to have wide knowledge about the availability of different types of subjects and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
importance from childhood.
This
Linking Words
can be predominantly initiated by the elementary and secondary schools. And
also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
will pave the path for the children to wisely pursue their
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
according to
Linking Words
their own
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
rather than by societal pressure.
Moreover
Linking Words
, lower wage problems can be mitigated by revising the income for the fresh graduate teacher.
Also
Linking Words
, by providing a free
under graduate
Correct your spelling
undergraduate
show examples
teaching program for all the
students
Use synonyms
will have a greater chance to make
this
Linking Words
field more accessible.
This
Linking Words
can be solved by local government rules and effective supervision of how actively the rules are implemented.
Moreover
Linking Words
, assigning a committee to supervise
this
Linking Words
will effectively ensure it. In conclusion, it is every individual's right to decide their own
profession
Use synonyms
.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, ignoring a
profession
Use synonyms
by means of unnecessary societal conditions will lead to
imbalance
Add an article
an imbalance
show examples
in work environments. Having said that, it is the
governments
Change to a genitive case
government's
governments'
show examples
responsibility to maintain a stable occupancy rate in every field.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
The introduction could be strengthened by clearly stating the two causes and possible solutions that will be discussed in the essay. This gives the reader a roadmap for what to expect.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
While you provided some good points, more specific examples or anecdotes could enhance your argument and make it more relatable to the reader.
task achievement
Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes your key points and provides a stronger final statement regarding the importance of teaching as a profession.
task achievement
You clearly identified two significant causes for the decline in interest in teaching: attraction to modern subjects and low wages.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is structured into clear paragraphs, which enhances readability.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: