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Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.

#people #education #classes #part #child #focus #academics #school #time
Children
 require a different educational system than adults. They need special attention and care. some may believe that physical
education
 is important and others may not. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both points of view and support them with evidence.
To begin
, why do some people think that physical
education
 is important to young students?
Firstly
, physical activities are healthy for
children
. It allows them to communicate with each other and learn very important principles
such
 as friendship, teamwork, and patience.
Also
, physical
education
 can be a form of entertainment.
For instance
, young students can take a break from learning theoretical
subjects
 and learn an
education
 that they use in life. The second point of view is that some people believe it is important to focus on academic
education
 more. Focusing on educational
subjects
such
 as math, science, and history from a young age enables them to excel in these
subjects
.
For example
, when
children
 have a strong foundation in these academic
subjects
, in the future the harder problems will be easier for them.
Furthermore
, building a strong base for young
children
 in their academic
education
 is very important. In conclusion,
although
 focusing on theoretical knowledge for
children
 is important, physical knowledge is
also
 very important. In my point of view, I see those two are equally important to a child's
education
, and one can not be there without the other, which is why I suggest that educational institutions should be aware of the consequences of enduring just one of these aspects.
Submitted by jowanaalamoudi on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance your coherence and cohesion, try to use more varied and sophisticated linking phrases. This will help your writing flow more smoothly.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. This will make your arguments more convincing and concrete.
task achievement
Aim to expand slightly on your introduction and conclusion to provide a more comprehensive structure to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and sentence structures. This will improve the clarity and readability of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both points of view clearly and thoroughly. This demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is good; your essay is well-organized and follows a coherent path from introduction to conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion, providing a strong ending to your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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