Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.

#people #education #classes #part #child #focus #academics #school #time

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Children

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require a different educational system than adults. They need special attention and care. some may believe that physical

education

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is important and others may not. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both points of view and support them with evidence.

To begin

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, why do some people think that physical

education

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is important to young students?

Firstly

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, physical activities are healthy for

children

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. It allows them to communicate with each other and learn very important principles

such

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as friendship, teamwork, and patience.

Also

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, physical

education

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can be a form of entertainment.

For instance

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, young students can take a break from learning theoretical

subjects

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and learn an

education

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that they use in life. The second point of view is that some people believe it is important to focus on academic

education

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more. Focusing on educational

subjects

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such

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as math, science, and history from a young age enables them to excel in these

subjects

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For example

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, when

children

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have a strong foundation in these academic

subjects

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, in the future the harder problems will be easier for them.

Furthermore

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, building a strong base for young

children

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in their academic

education

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is very important. In conclusion,

although

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focusing on theoretical knowledge for

children

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is important, physical knowledge is

also

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very important. In my point of view, I see those two are equally important to a child's

education

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, and one can not be there without the other, which is why I suggest that educational institutions should be aware of the consequences of enduring just one of these aspects.

Submitted by jowanaalamoudi on Tue Jul 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance your coherence and cohesion, try to use more varied and sophisticated linking phrases. This will help your writing flow more smoothly.

task achievement

Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. This will make your arguments more convincing and concrete.

task achievement

Aim to expand slightly on your introduction and conclusion to provide a more comprehensive structure to your essay.

coherence cohesion

Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and sentence structures. This will improve the clarity and readability of your essay.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both points of view clearly and thoroughly. This demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Your logical structure is good; your essay is well-organized and follows a coherent path from introduction to conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion, providing a strong ending to your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try to hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people say that drug companies have the responsibility to spend money on researching medicine to help the poorer countries, while others think the main responsibility of drug companies is to make money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.