IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that schools should imore invest money in technology, such as more computers, while others think more money should be spent on teachers. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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The question is which best side to invest
money
Use synonyms
 in school, is it on smart devices or on the
teachers
Use synonyms
?.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 In my opinion, Investing
money
Use synonyms
 should be on humans as a teacher. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, There are many sides to
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 in schools,
However
Linking Words
, Investing
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 professional
teachers
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 essential, It could not be profitable
as
Change preposition
on
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 side,
Moreover
Linking Words
, It is difficult to find
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
professional
teachers
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, They are essential because of many reasons, One of
necessary
Add an article
the necessary
show examples
 reasons is the
teachers
Use synonyms
 who will choose the way to introduce new information or
meterial
Correct your spelling
material
.
For instance
Linking Words
. There is
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
 in Jordan called
Oman
Use synonyms
 College which invested most of
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 professional
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 the best
graduation
Replace the word
graduates
show examples
 in Jordan
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
came from
this
Linking Words
university
Use synonyms
. On the the other hand, There many schools and
Use synonyms
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
is
Verb problem
have
show examples
 chosen
investing
Change the verb form
to invest
show examples
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technology. The
university
Use synonyms
 or
shools
Correct your spelling
schools
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
chose
investing
Change the verb form
to invest
show examples
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 smart devices,
Becaue
Correct your spelling
Because
 They looking for the best way to improve their education system, It could be
Correct article usage
an eassy
show examples
eassy
Correct your spelling
easy
 way
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 teaching
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 smart devices,
However
Linking Words
, It
Correct your spelling
but it
migh
Correct your spelling
might
 not be useful for their student or outcomes education,
For instance
Linking Words
, There is
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
 in
jordan
Change the capitalization
Jordan
show examples
 which
competitve
Correct your spelling
competitive
 with
Oman
Use synonyms
universtiy
Correct your spelling
university
, But,
This
Linking Words
 one called Mohammed
University
Use synonyms
, They chose investing
money
Use synonyms
 on technology, The result their graduation students worse than
Oman
Use synonyms
university
Use synonyms
. In
canculasion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I showed
tow
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
 sides
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 investing
money
Use synonyms
, And the best impact is investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
teachers
Use synonyms
,
Also
Linking Words
 my opinion
, Support
Add a missing verb
is, Support
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
teachers
Change to a genitive case
teacher's
teachers'
show examples
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
, Because the best students in the companies
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
came from
Oman
Use synonyms
 College. Saleh Sincerely

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coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your ideas. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and structure it accordingly.
task achievement
Try to diversify your vocabulary and grammatical structures to make your writing more engaging.
general
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct any spelling and grammatical errors.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion early in the essay, which is good for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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