Some people think that schools should invest more money in technology, such as more computers, while others think more money should be spent on teachers. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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The question is which best side to invest
money
Use synonyms
in school, is it on smart devices or on the crews? In my opinion, Investing cash should be on humans as a teacher. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, There are many sides to investing cash in schools,
However
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, Investing capital in professional crews
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
essential, It could not be profitable on the other side,
Moreover
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, It is difficult to find professional
teachers
Use synonyms
.
However
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, They are essential because of many reasons, One of the necessary reasons is the cadres who will choose the way to introduce new information or material.
For instance
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. There is an academy school in Jordan called
Oman
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College which invested most of their
money
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in professional
teachers
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and
then
Linking Words
the best graduates in Jordan came from
this
Linking Words
university
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. On the the other hand, There many schools and universities have chosen to invest
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
technology. The colleges or schools
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
to invest cash
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
smart devices
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Because They looking for the best way to improve their education system, It could be an easy way of teaching pupils with smart devices,
However
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, It
Correct your spelling
but it
might not be useful for their pupils or for outcomes of education,
For instance
Linking Words
, There is a
university
Use synonyms
in Jordan which competitive with
Oman
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university
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, But,
This
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one called Mohammed
University
Use synonyms
, They chose investing
money
Use synonyms
on technology, The result their graduation students worse than
Oman
Use synonyms
university
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. In conclusion, I showed two sides to invest
money
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, And the best impact is investing in
teachers
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,
Also
Linking Words
my opinion is, To support the
teachers
Use synonyms
' side, Because the best students in the companies came from
Oman
Use synonyms
College. Saleh

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly articulate your main argument and how each point relates to your opinion. This will enhance clarity and direction in your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check for grammar and punctuation errors to improve readability. Avoid repetitive phrases and ensure proper use of conjunctions for smoother transitions.
Task Achievement
When providing examples, it would be beneficial to explain why the example is relevant and how it supports your argument in more detail.
Task Achievement
Your essay showcases a clear opinion on the topic, which is very important for task achievement.
Task Achievement
You made efforts to address both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the assignment's requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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