IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is sometimes possible to pay somebody to do things you don't want to do, or don't have time to do, for example, household chores or looking after children. Is this a good way of providing work for others? Should people do these things themselves?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, many people hire employees to take care of their homes or children by paying them. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is a great way to provide employment to those in need. The main reason behind
this
Linking Words
 is that many parents work
nine to five
Add a hyphen
nine-to-five
show examples
 jobs to maintain a better standard of living.
As a result
Linking Words
, they find it increasingly difficult to balance both family responsibilities and work commitments. Many families offer attractive incentives to individuals who can help manage their accounts, complete household chores, or look after their children.
This
Linking Words
 approach not only creates
job
Use synonyms
 opportunities but
also
Linking Words
 helps reduce stress levels for families, allowing them more quality time together or the chance to
further
Linking Words
 develop their skills and advance in their careers.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
job
Use synonyms
 seekers can begin earning an income to meet their daily needs.
For instance
Linking Words
, many entrepreneurs hire people for various tasks, which contributes to
job
Use synonyms
 creation for others.
While
Linking Words
 there may not be a need to hire someone if an individual can manage their own tasks, the hectic pace of modern life means that many people require assistance with day-to-day activities.
Additionally
Linking Words
, tasks
such
Linking Words
 as managing business accounts are not something everyone is equipped to handle, especially if they lack the necessary knowledge.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many businesspeople employ accountants to manage their finances.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the president of any country has a vast array of responsibilities, leading them to create
job
Use synonyms
 opportunities for skilled candidates. In conclusion,
due to
Linking Words
 their busy lifestyles, families often require help around the house or need nannies for their children.
This
Linking Words
 arrangement is mutually beneficial for both employers and employees, ultimately enhancing the quality of life and productivity in the workplace.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates directly to your thesis statement. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Consider adding a brief counter-argument or alternative perspective to enrich your discussion. This would demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
task achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples that are explicitly tied to your main points, as this will strengthen your arguments and improve clarity.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion on the issue, effectively conveying your perspective throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is well-organized, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment opportunities
  • Economic contribution
  • Specialization
  • Efficiency
  • Work-life balance
  • Productivity
  • Leisure time
  • Stress reduction
  • Quality of work
  • Trained professionals
  • Dependency
  • Life skills
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Accomplishment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: