Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and the human experience, whilst others believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources. Discuss both these views and gife your own opinion.

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In modern-day society,

music

Use synonyms

has become an important part of our life. Educational facilities tend to offer a wide range of subjects aimed at educating children and teaching them various skills in their lives.

While

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some people believe learning

music

Use synonyms

is an important process of their life and gain personal knowledge, some others believe that musical education should not spend

time

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to taught in schools

instead

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of studying. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both views and draw my personal conclusion. On the one hand, it is accepted that learning

music

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at school has some advantages for students.

For Instance

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, learning

music

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such

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as singing can let people relax and unwind their minds, especially those who are feeling stressed about their homework or school tests.

For example

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, students can enjoy that moment and relieve their stress

while

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they are learning about it. It

also

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

can be a career

such

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as a singer or a

full-timetor

Correct your spelling

full-time or

full-timer

part-

time

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Youtuber on their life who does not study well on science or mathematics subjects in school or university.

Next,

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music

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also

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can connect the community together when they have the same interests, and

this

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therefore

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, youth can learn a different kind of

music

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and gain their skills and knowledge.

On the other hand

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, other people are taught that young society who spend a lot of

time

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learning

music

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could affect their homework. Especially, youth always playing too much

music

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could lead them don't have extra

time

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to study ,

moreover

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, it can downgrade their score

Change preposition

show examples

test

Fix the agreement mistake

tests

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in class.

In addition

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, society's too much focus on these will lead them to not have

time

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to play outdoor sports

such

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as soccer, cycling etc . These can become a health issue for them. In conclusion,

although

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the younger community frequently seems like wasting

time

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music

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, I think the benefits of learning

music

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are still more than the drawbacks.

tanchekhoong1986Wed Feb 19 2025

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Task Achievement

Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic. Additionally, aim for a more precise thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This can help in tying together your points more effectively.

Task Achievement

When providing examples, ensure they are clear and directly support your main arguments. Consider adding more specific examples to make your points stronger.

Task Achievement

Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is essential for this type of task.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have a clear conclusion that restates your opinion, showing awareness of the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Some people believe that teaching music in schools is a vital part of growing up and the human experience, whilst others believe that teaching music in schools is a waste of time and resources. Discuss both these views and gife your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Mobile phones and the Internet play an important role in the way people relate to one another socially. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

These days more people put their personal information, such as names, addresses and telephone numbers, online for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Salary is far most importante than Job satisfaction

Some people think that governments should invest more in public transportation systems to reduce traffic cognestions. To what extend to you agree disagree ?

Some people think that social connections are more useful than knowledge in achieving success because it’s not what you know but who you know that counts. To what extent do you agree or disagree?