IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

some people say that spending the natinal budget on space exploration wastes resources. They insist that fund should be spent on people living on earth. Do you agree or disagree

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A lot of people argue that allocating the national budget to space investigation is a depletion of capital rather than spending on people to improve their
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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. I disagree with the latter point and would recommend that spending
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
 on space groundwork is more beneficial. I will discuss the main advantages in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, in the race for modernisation countries are spending
bill
Correct your spelling
billions
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 on exploring aerospace.
Therefore
Linking Words
 countries that do not do so will lag and lose their reputation in the world.
For example
Linking Words
, recently India has achieved a big achievement in reaching the moon and putting the flag of their country which is an honourable moment for the people of the country. Another worth considering factor investing money in space to
promotes
Wrong verb form
promote
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 scientific experimentation and discovery. Our own natural resources are on the verge of depletion sooner or later. Exploring other planets will help in the ways to find alternative resources for making living easier for mankind.
However
Linking Words
, the benefits of spending
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
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 on universe investigation extend beyond the
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe that investment in aerospace inquiry promotes the
overall
Linking Words
 growth of scientific analysis and discovery will be a good way to replace natural resources for the improvement of living of folks.

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task achievement
The introduction could be clearer in stating your position. Consider rephrasing it to clearly outline your agreement or disagreement with the statement.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea of that paragraph. This will enhance logical flow.
task achievement
Ensure that you consistently cite specific examples and explain their relevance to your argument to strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid using phrases that may come across as unclear or awkward, such as 'spending wage on space groundwork.' Focus on clearer terminology.
task achievement
You have presented a clear argument for investment in space exploration, which is a strong position to take.
task achievement
You addressed potential benefits of space exploration, which is pertinent to the topic and shows thoughtful consideration.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • resources
  • budget
  • space exploration
  • wastes
  • people living on Earth
  • disagree
  • technological advancements
  • scientific research
  • discovery
  • inspires
  • motivates
  • future generations
  • benefits
  • extend
  • long-term investment
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