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Band 7

These days, many students behave badly at schools. What are the problems that can arise because of this issue? What are the solutions that can be taken to solve this problem?

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Nowadays, a lot of
students
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 exhibit bad behaviour at
school
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.
This
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 can lead to academic failure and punishments.
However
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, there are a number of measures that can be taken to solve
this
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 issue. One of the problems is that bad behaviour affects
students
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' academic performance.
In other words
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,
students
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 who misbehave in class do not focus on their studies.
For example
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, when
students
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 talk, fight, or ignore the teacher, they might miss important information.
Therefore
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, they will find it difficult when they take exams, and they might fail. Another issue is that
students
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 who misbehave will receive punishments. When they behave badly in class, some
teachers
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 might punish them by asking them to stay outside the classroom or clean the
school
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 compound. In some cases, these
students
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 may even be expelled from
school
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. There are two effective solutions to deal with
this
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 problem. One way is for schools to ensure that everyone follows strict rules.
That is
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 to say,
teachers
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 should establish clear rules and discipline
students
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 who break them by giving warnings or appropriate punishments to maintain order in the classroom.
For instance
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, on the first day of the lessons,
teachers
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 should emphasise their
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
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from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
students
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 and warn them that they will be punished if they do not follow them.
As a result
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,
students
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 will take their studies more seriously. Another method is that parents should take part in their children's education. When parents communicate with
teachers
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 and support their children at home,
students
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 will perform better in
school
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.
To sum up
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, clear rules and parental support are effective in addressing
this
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 issue. If schools and parents implement these solutions, the problem could be resolved more effectively.

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples or data to support your points, especially in the discussion of solutions. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate deeper engagement with the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your essay. For instance, using linking phrases can improve the transition between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the issue and provides a roadmap for your essay, which helps the reader understand what to expect.
task achievement
You effectively identified relevant problems and solutions, showing a good understanding of the topic.
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