IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, the number of people visiting art galleries is reducing. What do you think the reasons for this are? How can we solve this problem?

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In recent years, there has been a noticeable decline in the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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visitors to
art
Use synonyms
 galleries in several parts of the world. There are a number of contributing factors;
Firstly
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, access to
the
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apply
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digital alternatives.
Secondly
Linking Words
 high prices and elitist perception
that
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apply
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surrounds
Correct subject-verb agreement
surround
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 these
art
Use synonyms
places
Use synonyms
. One of the key
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
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that is
Linking Words
 responsible for the dwindling attendance to
such
Linking Words
places
Use synonyms
 is
the
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apply
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digital entertainment. With the rise of digital platforms, like social media, live streaming and virtual experience,
people
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 get instant gratification and captivating visual stimuli
at
Change preposition
in
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 the comfort of their homes.
As a result
Linking Words
,they
dnt
Correct your spelling
don't
 feel the urge to visit
art
Use synonyms
 exhibitions and they find it less engaging and entertaining compared to the alternative forms.
This
Linking Words
 problem can be addressed by the galleries, by adopting new technologies that involve augmented digital
art
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 and virtual visits.These developments can attract more
audience
Fix the agreement mistake
audiences
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, particularly younger individuals.
Additionally
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, these
art
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 institutions have higher
maintainence
Correct your spelling
maintenance
cost
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costs
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, which
compel
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compels
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 organizers to raise the prices of tickets.
As a result
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, it becomes unaffordable for many
people
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especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 students .
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Besides
Add a comma
Besides,
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 there is
perception
Add an article
the perception
a perception
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 of 'elitist'
attach
Wrong verb form
attached
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 to
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
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.Many
people
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 feel intimidated at
such
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places
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 as they believe that these
places
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 are reserved for privileged few ,who have
appericiation
Correct your spelling
appreciation
 and knowledge of the arts.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many individuals drift away from it which leads to a drop in foot traffic to
such
Linking Words
places
Use synonyms
. These issues can be tackled by reducing the entrance fees and introducing discounts for families and students.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 management of these institutions should implement more inclusive practices by hosting events, that
invites
Correct subject-verb agreement
invite
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people
Use synonyms
 from a wider background.
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
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 more
people
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 will feel
inclusive
Replace the word
included
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 and attracted towards them In conclusion, easy
excess
Correct your spelling
access
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 to the digital form of entertainment ,
elite
Add an article
the elite
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 tag attached to
art
Use synonyms
 exhibitions and unaffordable ticket
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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 are the core underlying issues, responsible for the
visitors
Change noun form
visitor's
visitors'
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 decline to
art
Use synonyms
gallaries
Correct your spelling
galleries
.A comprehensive approach that involves the installation of
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 technology devices,wider inclusive strategies and
Add a hyphen
cost-friendly
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cost friendly
Add a hyphen
cost-friendly
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 options

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formatting
Make sure to use appropriate punctuation and spacing throughout your essay, especially after commas and periods. For instance, 'home.As' should be 'home. As'.
style
Consider using more varied sentence structures to enhance the complexity of your writing. Long and short sentences mixed can add more rhythm to your essay.
content
Provide clearer and more specific examples when discussing solutions to draw stronger connections to your points about visitor decline.
content
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and identifies relevant reasons for the decline in art gallery visitors.
coherence
You have organized your ideas in a logical manner, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital entertainment
  • cultural access
  • exhibitions
  • streaming services
  • financial constraints
  • leisure activities
  • interactive experiences
  • immersive
  • marketing strategies
  • outreach
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