Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

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It is commonly believed that wealth is the main reason for living a happy

life

Use synonyms

However

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this

Linking Words

is not the only way we can achieve an enjoyable living situation.

This

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essay will discuss the reason behind

this

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claim,

as well as

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other aspect

Change the wording

another aspect

other aspects

show examples

that can

also

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support our happiness. It is undeniable that we need to have enough funds to be able to afford our basic necessities

such

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as education, a comfortable home, and clothes. The failure

on providing

Change preposition

to provide

show examples

these things will definitely impact our quality of

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

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. The people

Correct pronoun usage

who

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are able to successfully afford all of these will perceive their lives in

Add an article

a more

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positive light compared to others who can not.

Additionally

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, having enough money will

also

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provide us with the chance

of having

Change preposition

to have

show examples

a hobby that will increase our satisfaction in

life

Use synonyms

However

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, our joy in

life

Use synonyms

will not always depend on how much

asset

Fix the agreement mistake

assets

show examples

we have. There are other things that are

also

Linking Words

crucial,

such

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as supportive family and reliable friends. I would imagine that even though we have more than enough wealth, we will not

Correct your spelling

show examples

able to enjoy our

life

Use synonyms

to the fullest if we can not share it with our loved ones. There are many

case

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cases

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of rich celebrities that have depression and are not happy with their lives because they do not have a good support system. In conclusion,

while

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it is true that how we would enjoy our

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

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depend

Correct subject-verb agreement

depends

show examples

on our financial situation, other things

such

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as family and friends are

also

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needed to ensure our contentment in

life

Use synonyms

gemilangfiodesyThu Feb 20 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to include more specific examples to support your points, especially when discussing the impact of wealth versus relationships on happiness.

coherence

Develop a clearer logical structure by outlining your main points more explicitly in the introduction and ensuring a smoother flow between paragraphs.

cohesion

Consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the cohesion between ideas, helping the reader to follow your argument more easily.

positive feedback

Your essay effectively introduces the topic and states your position clearly, which is important for engaging the reader.

positive feedback

You have relevant points about the need for financial stability and the importance of relationships, showing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Your opinion

The percentage of overweight children in western countries has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.

More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised. This can sometimes put them at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet? How can this problem be solved?

In many countries, both parents are working, and this affects family life. Do you think the advantages of both parents working outweigh the disadvantages?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that when children under 18 are committing a crime they should be punished, while others believe they should be educated. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.