Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Different

people

Use synonyms

thrive under different circumstances, some

due to

Linking Words

competition

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while

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others

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due to

Linking Words

being able to cooperate with

one

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another.

This

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affects not only

people

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work places

Correct your spelling

workplaces

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

students at school or in everyday life. Individuals tend to have their own opinions on

this

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matter, some believing it allows them to succeed

while

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others

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get discouraged.

This

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essay will explore both views

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

matter

along with

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my personal opinion. Competitions at work, school and

daily

Change preposition

in daily

show examples

life allow individuals to push themselves to the limit by having

others

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such

Linking Words

as their competitors as their standard. Competitions allow

people

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to always grind and reach their full potential

due to

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them constantly reminding themselves of how they can improve. Competitions can teach

people

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about sportsmanship and how to encourage those around

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

do better by introducing them to new paths.

One

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example of

this

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could be

competition

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in a workplace when assigned a project. The teams taking part are more likely to push themselves to be better than

others

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and the outcome of their project has more chances of being of higher quality.

However

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, being too competitive could lead to lots of factors. These include the constant stress or anxiety to be better than

others

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and constant fear of failure leading to low self-esteem.Constantly worrying about being competitive could be unhealthy for an individual. Being able to cooperate can lead to a more positive environment.

Moreover

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, cooperating could benefit all members and individuals as

people

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are able to lift themselves up during a low point with the help of

others

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For instance

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, a child might be discouraged after losing a dance

competition

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but with the help of her peers, she was able to perform better

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show examples

the following

competition

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due to

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teamwork and coherence. In my opinion, cooperating with

one

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another and establishing a much more positive environment allows human beings to thrive more. The stress and anxiety when constantly thinking about being competitive could lead to

one

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being unaware of how they behave,

this

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could disrupt personal relationships with the community

around

Correct pronoun usage

around them

show examples

. Cooperating with

one

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another allows for a more positive thriving environment. In conclusion, both

competition

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and cooperating with

one

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another have their own advantages and disadvantages. Each benefits beings in different ways.

munvinder1265Fri Feb 21 2025

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clarity

Make sure to clearly define competition and cooperation in your introduction, which will help frame your discussion. Also, your argumentation could benefit from clearer topic sentences that directly relate to the main idea of each paragraph.

argumentation

You provided a personal opinion clearly, which is great for task achievement.

support

Your essay contains relevant examples that help illustrate key points, which is a strong aspect of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

376 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think government should ban dangerous sports; others, however, believe that people should be free to do whatever they choose. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the last decade, there has been a great increase in international travel. What do you think are the reasons for this and do you think it is a good thing?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Disucss both these view and give your own opinions.