Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Different
people
Use synonyms
thrive under different circumstances, some
due to
Linking Words
competition
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
being able to cooperate with
one
Use synonyms
another.
This
Linking Words
affects not only
people
Use synonyms
at
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
students at school or in everyday life. Individuals tend to have their own opinions on
this
Linking Words
matter, some believing it allows them to succeed
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
get discouraged.
This
Linking Words
essay will explore both views
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
matter
along with
Linking Words
my personal opinion. Competitions at work, school and
daily
Change preposition
in daily
show examples
life allow individuals to push themselves to the limit by having
others
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as their competitors as their standard. Competitions allow
people
Use synonyms
to always grind and reach their full potential
due to
Linking Words
them constantly reminding themselves of how they can improve. Competitions can teach
people
Use synonyms
about sportsmanship and how to encourage those around
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
do better by introducing them to new paths.
One
Use synonyms
example of
this
Linking Words
could be
competition
Use synonyms
in a workplace when assigned a project. The teams taking part are more likely to push themselves to be better than
others
Use synonyms
and the outcome of their project has more chances of being of higher quality.
However
Linking Words
, being too competitive could lead to lots of factors. These include the constant stress or anxiety to be better than
others
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and constant fear of failure leading to low self-esteem.Constantly worrying about being competitive could be unhealthy for an individual. Being able to cooperate can lead to a more positive environment.
Moreover
Linking Words
, cooperating could benefit all members and individuals as
people
Use synonyms
are able to lift themselves up during a low point with the help of
others
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a child might be discouraged after losing a dance
competition
Use synonyms
but with the help of her peers, she was able to perform better
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the following
competition
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
teamwork and coherence. In my opinion, cooperating with
one
Use synonyms
another and establishing a much more positive environment allows human beings to thrive more. The stress and anxiety when constantly thinking about being competitive could lead to
one
Use synonyms
being unaware of how they behave,
this
Linking Words
could disrupt personal relationships with the community
around
Correct pronoun usage
around them
show examples
. Cooperating with
one
Use synonyms
another allows for a more positive thriving environment. In conclusion, both
competition
Use synonyms
and cooperating with
one
Use synonyms
another have their own advantages and disadvantages. Each benefits beings in different ways.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clarity
Make sure to clearly define competition and cooperation in your introduction, which will help frame your discussion. Also, your argumentation could benefit from clearer topic sentences that directly relate to the main idea of each paragraph.
argumentation
You provided a personal opinion clearly, which is great for task achievement.
support
Your essay contains relevant examples that help illustrate key points, which is a strong aspect of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: