It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The importance of taking
risks
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in both personal and professional lives is often argued by society. I do believe that taking
risks
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will drive our lives to move forward to a better future.
Firstly
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,
risks
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should be taken in order to grow ourselves and improve our skills.
For instance
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, Bill Gates abandoned college to build Microsoft from scratch. He took that risk and believed in himself that he could make it.
As a result
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his company currently has one of the biggest revenues in the world. Another point is that we won’t know our ability if we do not try it first.
For example
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, during kindergarten, the teachers expect kids to challenge themselves to try different varieties of sports and hobbies. Once tried, the youngsters will learn which type of activities they enjoy the most.
This
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will help them decide what their dream jobs are for the future.
By contrast
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, people tend to get scared to take
risks
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as they will be outside of their comfort zone.
This
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will prevent them from taking a step
further
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and finding enjoyment in what they have now. One example is an elderly in America who has worked for over 40 years as a store clerk and refused to get promoted because he’s afraid of the responsibilities he will get.
To conclude
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, I personally think there are more benefits of trying something new throughout the time of our lives than drawbacks. Taking
risks
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is encouraged as it might have significant impacts on our future.

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task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced view by discussing specific disadvantages of taking risks to strengthen your argument and address potential counterarguments.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Consider using transitional phrases to guide the reader through your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Overall, you presented a clear opinion about the benefits of taking risks and supported it with relevant examples, particularly the references to Bill Gates and childhood experiences.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay displayed a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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