Children are facing more pressure nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?.

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In recent years, young

children

Use synonyms

are experiencing immense pressure from academic, social and commercial

outlook

Fix the agreement mistake

outlooks

show examples

The modern

Correct article usage

Modern

show examples

society has never been easy on

children

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, regardless of enhancement in social structures and behavioural

system

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systems

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both

causes

Correct article usage

the causes

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and effects of

this

Linking Words

concerning

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

issue with a logical narration.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

most

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the most

show examples

significant pressure

facing

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faced

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young people is

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

academic competition. Even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society has come forward in many areas, the old-fashioned standardized

assesments

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assessments

assessment

and admission processes in schools and universities have never shifted.

This

Linking Words

means

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apply

show examples

children

Use synonyms

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

to compete with each other from

the

Correct article usage

show examples

early age, and it can

results

Change the verb form

result

show examples

in increased anxiety and stress among them.

According to

Linking Words

many studies, the educational system has a

signicant

Correct your spelling

significant

impact on

well-being

Add an article

the well-being

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of young kids.

Therefore

Linking Words

, a practical approach should be considered by the government and authorities which can

impliment

Correct your spelling

implement

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apply

show examples

the learning system without overwhelming the students.

Furethermore

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Furthermore

the

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apply

show examples

social media platforms

Add a missing verb

are regared

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regared

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regarded

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

place

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places

show examples

requires

Correct pronoun usage

that requires

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social acceptance.

This

Linking Words

is where young people often

loss

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lose

show examples

themselves by comparing their

life

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lives

show examples

with peers.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the restriction of social media and internet browsing for

under aged

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under-aged

show examples

could be a great way out of it. Primarily with

this

Linking Words

measure,

children

Use synonyms

's mental health can be protected from

cyber bullying

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cyberbullying

show examples

and

emtional

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emotional

strains.

In addition

Linking Words

, the

commerical

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commercial

influences over the

children

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

notable, especially during

the

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apply

show examples

adolesecse

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adolescence

adolescent

. To illustrate, the marketing of

fairnes

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fairness

creams and other beauty products

are

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show examples

targeted at these

group

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groups

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of kids via popular celebrities. Because of

this

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

tend to create unrealistic

expections

Correct your spelling

expectations

and it directly

increase

Change the verb form

increases

show examples

their stress to meet these societal standards.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is important that governments should introduce regulations

Change preposition

for

show examples

these unreal commercial advertising

approch

Correct your spelling

approaches

. In conclusion, nowadays, the pressure on young people is massive from different angles of lives,

build

Wrong verb form

built

show examples

societial

Correct your spelling

social

expectations.

This

Linking Words

could lead to

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apply

show examples

intolerable

sufference

Correct your spelling

suffering

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for

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young kids which may

results

Change the verb form

result

show examples

in noxious outcomes, so

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

governments and officials need to come forward with effective steps like

awarness

Correct your spelling

awareness

campaigns or new rules and legislation to control

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media and commercial networks.

ayanamurali25Fri Feb 21 2025

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task achievement

Make sure your thesis statement clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed in your essay. This will help set the reader's expectations.

coherence cohesion

Use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the logical flow of your essay. This will help improve the coherence and cohesion of your writing.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This could strengthen your points and make your arguments more convincing.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt well, discussing both causes and measures to reduce pressures faced by children.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay is clear, with a logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
53
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

347 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic pressure
social acceptance
commercial influences
standardized testing
stress and anxiety
fear of missing out (FOMO)
unrealistic expectations
peer comparison
emotional strain
targeted marketing

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Children are facing more pressure nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that climate change could have a negative effect on business. Other people think that climate change could create more business opportunities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environmental pollutions and housing problems. To what extent do you agree to disagree with this statement?

In recent years, there has been an increasing trend of people from cities buying second homes in the countryside. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?