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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work, and communicate with people via internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, the growth of technology has led people to interact more frequently online rather than meeting in person. I believe
this
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 is a negative development , as it can lead to isolation, potentially harmful situations, and an increase in online scams. One major problem with online interaction is the risk of isolation. In the past, people used to meet friends and family face-to-face.
However
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, today, many individuals prefer to stay at home and spend the majority of their time alone without meeting others, especially those who work remotely.
This
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 type of isolation is unhealthy and can lead to mental health issues
such
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 as depression and anxiety. Another serious concern is the risk of fake identities and deceptive online behaviour. Many people create fake profiles or hide their true personalities on social media.
This
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 is particularly concerning for teenagers, who are more vulnerable and may be easily manipulated by strangers online. Parents often struggle to monitor and protect their children, which increases the risk of exploitation or abuse.
In addition
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, the rise of online shopping has made scams more common. Teenagers,
for instance
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, may impulsively purchase items online without thinking carefully before ordering and paying online, often falling victim to fake websites or false advertisements.
This
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 not only causes financial loss but
also
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 encourages poor spending habits and dependency on instant gratification. In conclusion,
while
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 technology has improved many aspects of our lives, its impact on human interaction raises serious concerns. The shift toward online communication, shopping, and working has created numerous problems, and
therefore
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, I believe
this
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 trend should not be seen as entirely positive.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or statistics to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each point flows smoothly into the next to enhance your logical structure.
coherence and cohesion
Work on giving a clearer connection between your main ideas and your overall opinion.
task achievement
The essay has a clear opinion about the issue, which is important for task response.
task achievement
You have effectively identified key issues related to online interaction, showing strong understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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