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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

percentage of total us population aged 65 and over 1900 to 2000

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•The chart shows the percentage of
people
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 aged 65 and over in the United States between 1900 and 2000. •In the year 1900 just over 4% of the
population
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 was aged over 65.
However
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, by 1960
this
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 figure had doubled. The number of
people
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 aged between 75 and 84 remained
1900
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between 1900
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 and 1930, making up only 1-1.3% of the
population
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. The figure
begun
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began
has begun
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 to rise more significantly in 1940 and by 1970 it tripled to reach 3% of the
population
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. •
Although
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 there was no change in the number of
people
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 aged 65-74 between 1960 and 1970, the number of
people
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 aged 75 and over increased during
this
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 time. •By the year 2000, 12.4% of the
population
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 had reached the age of 65 or more,
although
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this
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 was slightly lower than in 1990 when it had peaked at 12.6%. The chart shows that today
people
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 in the United States can
expert
Correct your spelling
expect
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 to live longer than in 1900. By the year
2000
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2000,
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 more than 12% of the
population
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 had managed to live to the age of 65 and over compared to only 4.1% in 1900.

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Task Achievement
Consider adding a more detailed introduction and conclusion that summarize the key trends rather than just stating the initial percentage.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to transition logically between points to ensure that the information flows smoothly, perhaps by using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition'.
Task Achievement
It would be beneficial to include specific numerical data or years more consistently where relevant, especially in discussing changes over time.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a clear overview of the data on the aging population in the US throughout the specified years, identifying key trends such as growth in percentage of those aged 65 and over.
Coherence and Cohesion
Numerical data is included to illustrate the points made, showing an understanding of the subject matter and providing evidence for claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic changes
  • aging population
  • healthcare advancements
  • life expectancy
  • social security
  • economic implications
  • pension systems
  • retirement age
  • elderly care
  • birth rates
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