IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is becoming increasingly common for people to migrate from one country to another in search of better opportunities. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of immigration for both the host country and the immigrants themselves. You should include: An introduction that outlines the topic. A paragraph discussing the advantages of immigration. A paragraph discussing the disadvantages of immigration. A conclusion that summarizes your views and states your opinion.

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Nowadays, immigration has become more frequent in our society owing to the fact that people
is
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are
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 seeking
for
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apply
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greater opportunities.
This
Linking Words
phenomenom
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phenomenon
 has its benefits and drawbacks that we are going to
disscus
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discuss
 in the following text. On
one
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the one
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 hand, industries are more
develop
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developed
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 in some countries than in others.
This
Linking Words
 is an
excelent
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excellent
 window of opportunity for people that in their own city don’t have
this
Linking Words
 chance in their professional field.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is
benefecial
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beneficial
 for the company
beacuse
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because
atracts
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attracts
population
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the population
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 interested in their sector, so it can improve their business and development. Another positive point to highlight is that immigration promotes cross-cultural understanding,
Linking Words
this
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which
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enhance
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enhances
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 communication, empathy and diversity.
For instance
Linking Words
, understanding
the
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apply
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cultural differences helps
the
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apply
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collaboration and
coperativity
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cooperation
, improving conflict resolution.
This
Linking Words
 is essential in
a
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an
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 interconnected world.
By contrast
Linking Words
, immigration has
also
Linking Words
 downsides.
For example
Linking Words
, the overload of public resources. The massive arrival of immigrants can put pressure on services
such
Linking Words
 as healthcare and education, affecting both newcomers and local citizens.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the competition for jobs
in
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apply
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can create tensions between immigrants and local workers, especially during times of economic crisis. These issues require proper management to ensure effective and harmonious integration. In conclusion, migration is a topic that has an impact
in
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on
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 our society, having
his
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its
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 advantages and disadvantages. In my personal
opinion
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opinion,
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 the benefits
outweight
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outweigh
 the negative aspects. As
i
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I
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 mentioned before, it has numerous positive
outcames
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outcomes
to
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for
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 our
civilitazion
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civilisation
 and we can improve our social bonding and our local companies.
Aditionally
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Additionally
, it allows us to live new personal experiences and broaden our perspectives.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines both the advantages and disadvantages of immigration. Adding a stronger thesis statement can enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your writing. For instance, words like 'however', 'furthermore', and 'consequently' could improve coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Be mindful of spelling and minor grammatical errors, such as 'phenomenon', 'beneficial', and 'because'. Proofreading can help in avoiding such inaccuracies.
Content
Your essay presents a balanced view of immigration, touching on both the benefits and drawbacks effectively, which shows good critical thinking.
Content
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, especially in discussing cultural understanding and public resource pressures, which enhances your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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