People nowadays are spending more time at the work place and it is argued this is a problem for family life.To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
these days,working is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the most virtual
needing
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
.Parents are working
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
gain money and feed their family.Working long hours can be useful depending on the situation.
However
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
family relationships can suffer if
people
Use synonyms
fail to maintain proper balance.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Spwending
Correct your spelling
Spending
more time at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
is increased
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
income and
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
income is beneficial for
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
.Long working
time is
Verb problem
hours
show examples
providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
a high income for
people
Use synonyms
hence
Linking Words
many individuals
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
to work extended hours for their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
because It's hard to make a living and support a family.Many parents are caring
their
Change preposition
about their
show examples
children's future.Everyone knows that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
should be wealthy
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
take
Verb problem
get
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
efficiency
Replace the word
efficient
show examples
education

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Clarify your ideas and arguments to improve overall comprehension. Ensure each point is fully developed and clearly explained.
language quality
Work on grammar and vocabulary usage to express your thoughts more clearly and accurately.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs follow a logical order and each has a clear main idea that connects directly to your thesis statement.
idea development
You have identified an important issue regarding the impact of long working hours on family relationships.
reasoning
You attempt to provide reasons for why people may choose to work long hours, which shows an understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • familial bonds
  • emotional distance
  • quality time
  • flexible work arrangements
  • technological advancements
  • work commitments
  • family activities
  • sense of belonging
  • increased income
  • fulfillment
  • positive dynamics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: