Some people believe that the government should provide financial assistance to all artists including painters, musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money.

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Several

people

Use synonyms

have

idea

Add an article

an idea

the idea

show examples

that Higher authority is not utilizing funds in

useful

Change the article

a useful

show examples

manner by using it in the artistic field because that monetary support could be done in the other sectors. I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement

lower

Rephrase

to a lesser

show examples

extend

Replace the word

extent

show examples

and will provide justification in the upcoming paragraphs. First of all, Civic bodies are helping to encourage

people

Use synonyms

by arranging cultural events. Where they invite artists from every corner of the country. By

this

Linking Words

Artist

Fix the agreement mistake

Artists

show examples

can get recognition in the public.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, They

also

Linking Words

build theatres and drama schools.

Also

Linking Words

introducing educational programs related to arts. So,

this

Linking Words

will help

people

Use synonyms

to make their career in

this

Linking Words

area. Nowadays, Parents force their children to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

study and become

doctor

Fix the agreement mistake

doctors

show examples

engineer

Fix the agreement mistake

engineers

show examples

,or

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

but never support them

to choose

Change preposition

in choosing

show examples

their career in the arts.

For example

Linking Words

In the

Correct your spelling

in The

show examples

three idiots movie one character

name

Replace the word

named

show examples

Farhan

wanted

Wrong verb form

wants

show examples

to become a photographer but his father

forced

Wrong verb form

forces

show examples

him to pursue engineering.

As a result

Linking Words

, If

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

take steps to develop category of

skill based

Add a hyphen

skill-based

show examples

profession. In

this

Linking Words

era

Add a comma

era,

show examples

everyone is busy in their life and their schedule

are

Change the verb form

show examples

hectic. By uplifting ,

entertainment

Correct article usage

the entertainment

show examples

industry it will help them to reduce their stress.

Secondly

Linking Words

On the other hand

Linking Words

, certain individuals have

mentality

Add an article

the mentality

a mentality

show examples

that

its

Correct your spelling

it is

show examples

totally unnecessary and we have other departments where investments should be

done

Verb problem

made

show examples

. They have an opinion that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should build housing for poor

people

Use synonyms

take

Correct word choice

and take

show examples

initiative

Correct article usage

the initiative

show examples

make

Verb problem

create

show examples

new employment opportunities for

unemployed

Add an article

the unemployed

show examples

population.

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

enlarge

medical

Correct article usage

the medical

show examples

section by providing free health care services.

For instance

Linking Words

, there are

Correct article usage

a numbers

show examples

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

village

Fix the agreement mistake

villages

show examples

where residents are not able to get primary medications as they don’t have any nearby hospitals. In consultation, Everything should be done in balance. Spending excessive amounts on any division is not beneficial for any country.

Therefore

Linking Words

Government

Correct article usage

the Government

show examples

should make a proper budget for all units.

kadikar30Sat Feb 22 2025

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task achievement

Improve the clarity and completeness of your introduction. Clearly state your position (e.g., whether you fully support the idea that government funding for the arts is wasteful) and outline the main points you will discuss in the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Use more cohesive devices to connect your ideas. For example, instead of 'First of all', consider using 'Firstly' or 'To begin with'.

task achievement

Ensure your examples are clearly explained and relevant to your argument. The example from 'Three Idiots' could be related more directly to your main point about parental pressure and the arts.

coherence and cohesion

Try to slightly refine your grammar and sentence structure. Improving these aspects will enhance the overall quality and readability of your writing.

task achievement

You have introduced both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

task achievement

You attempt to provide examples which help support your points, showing an effort to engage with the topic creatively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

305 words

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Some people believe that the government should provide financial assistance to all artists including painters, musicians and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings.

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles overweigh the disadvantages?

In many parts of the world, some famous people are considered as 'role models' and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?