IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Global warming is emerging as a great threat to human survival in the 21st Century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and suggest some solutions?

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Many think that global warming is rising and
sea
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 levels are increasing at unacceptable rates,
also
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 it can create some dangers for human existence.
This
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 essay believes that it stems from the rising number of factories, fossil
fuels
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 and
plastic
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 packaging.
Additionally
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, the government can mitigate
this
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way
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to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 enlightenment in schools and consulting renewable
energy
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 sources. The major factors of global warming and rising
sea
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 levels are the
use
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 of fossil
fuels
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, the increasing number of factories and
plastic
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 packaging .
In other words
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,
plastic
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 packaging is extremely difficult to get rid of without damage to ecology,
this
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 wastes are dropped out to landfill sites which is dangerous for
sea
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 life.
In contrast
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, people
use
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 different types of fossil
fuels
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 when they
use
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 their vehicles and its steam can raise the level of carbon emission in the atmosphere.
Additionally
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, new factories are opened by the hand of the government which damages the environment
at
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in
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 the same
way
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.
For instance
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, at Cambridge University, one research illustrates that the most contributional factors on carbon dioxide are factory vapours and fossil
fuels
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. To tackle
this
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 issue, some crucial methods can be helpful
such
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 as consciousness-raising in schools and
instead
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 of fossil
fuels
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 the
use
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 of renewable
energy
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.
Thus
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, if governments can impose children to protect nature, it can be positively affected by pollution. Another
way
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 is to allocate
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
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 to renewable
energy
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 which can provide electricity in the future.
For example
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, At Oxford University, scientists show that renewable
energy
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 can provide our entire needs and if governments invest more money into
this
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 kind of
energy
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, fossil
fuels
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 will be unnecessary for basic life.
To conclude
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, rising
sea
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 levels and global warming are associated with fossil
fuels
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, factory vapours and
plastic
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 packaging. To tackle the issue, governments can impede the effects
way
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 of education and the usage of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 sources.

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer introduction that outlines the specific issues and solutions you will discuss in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs each focus on a single idea to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples or data to support your arguments, as this will strengthen your points.
task achievement
You identified key factors contributing to global warming and rising sea levels effectively, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay includes a conclusion that summarizes the main points, which is a good practice in academic writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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