You are interested in studying on a short course at a college in an English speaking country. Write a letter to the college. In your letter you should say: which course you are interested in and why describe your educational background and work experience and say why you would like to study at that college.

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Dear

college

Use synonyms

admission officers, My name is Zhiliang Yan and I hope

this

Linking Words

find

Change the verb form

finds

show examples

you well! I am writing

this

Linking Words

email to apply for the Secondary

school

Use synonyms

teaching short

course

Use synonyms

provided at your esteemed

college

Use synonyms

in 2026 next year. Here are some reasons and my experiential evidences that

showcases

Correct subject-verb agreement

showcase

show examples

me as a qualified student for

this

Linking Words

coursework.

Firstly

Linking Words

, I was significantly inspired by my parents, who were both teachers and dedicated their

lifetime

Fix the agreement mistake

lifetimes

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the education industry in China. Growing up in

such

Linking Words

an elite family, I have always been passionate about becoming a teacher

some days

Correct your spelling

someday

show examples

in the future, to

faciliate

Correct your spelling

facilitate

the emergings of our society just like the way my parents did to mine.

Hence

Linking Words

, I want to pursue

this

Linking Words

career dream by applying for a

course

Use synonyms

that enables me to be job-ready for high

school

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teaching.

Secondly

Linking Words

, I believe that I am a suitable candidate for

this

Linking Words

course

Use synonyms

as I harnessed some great qualities and

skillsets

Correct your spelling

skill sets

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over

the

Change the word

show examples

past learning experiences.

For example

Linking Words

, during

high

Correct pronoun usage

my high

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school

Use synonyms

years, I have been helping my teachers as

Change the article

show examples

teaching assistant to support younger students learning and engaging in classes. I

also

Linking Words

learnt

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how to communicate with students and some basics to become a proficient teacher, when I was a teaching volunteer in a rural

school

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Therefore

Linking Words

, I argue that I am capable

to challenge

Change preposition

of challenging

show examples

myself and

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

on board with the learning journey offered at your

esteem

Replace the word

esteemed

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college

Use synonyms

Last

Linking Words

but not least, since your esteemed

college

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has

Verb problem

show examples

known to be well-known in the education and teaching industries in Australia, with more than thousands of industrial connections to various schools across the nation,

this

Linking Words

course

Use synonyms

will be the perfect choice for me. Thank you once again for taking

your

Change the word

the

show examples

time

in considering

Change preposition

to consider

show examples

this

Linking Words

email and I look forward to hearing from you!

Your

Correct the word

Yours

show examples

sincerely, Zhiliang Yan

robbieyan666Sun Feb 23 2025

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task achievement

Consider rephrasing your introduction to clearly state the purpose of your letter and your specific interest in the course.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to proofread for small grammatical errors, such as using 'find' instead of 'finds' in your greeting. Small mistakes can detract from the overall impression.

coherence and cohesion

Try to improve the flow between the paragraphs to ensure that the reader can follow your argument more smoothly.

task achievement

You have demonstrated a clear passion for teaching, which enhances your application.

coherence and cohesion

Your closing statement is polite and expresses gratitude, which is very positive.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

307 words

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It is important to ensure that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mixed with each other at schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.