IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You were hurt in a minor accident inside a supermarket, and you wish to complain to the supermarket. Write a letter to the manager of the supermarket. In your letter -say who you are -give details about the accident -suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents

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Dear Sir or Madam, I would like to inform you that I
had
Verb problem
was
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 injured in the supermarket
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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bad management.
Firstly
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,I am a school teacher and I go
to
Change preposition
in
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early
Add an article
the early
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 morning because
this
Linking Words
 place is far away from my house.I go
to
Change preposition
apply
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by
Correct your spelling
my
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 bike to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 my duty. When I have to cross every day
this
Linking Words
 market because I have
not
Correct your spelling
no
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other
Change the wording
another
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 way to
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
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 my destination and I
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 seen every shopkeeper put
their
Replace the word
there
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 in front
their
Change preposition
of their
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 shop.
Besides
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this
Linking Words
 way was
conjusted
Correct your spelling
conducted
conjured
 and I crossed the road very slowly.One day I crossed but my bike
slip
Wrong verb form
slipped
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 and I fell on the road because
these
Change preposition
of these
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 people.I got
seveior
Correct word choice
a severe
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 injury on my leg.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,I would like to request
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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that shop holder keep things in their shop
instead
Linking Words
 of
at
Change preposition
on
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 the road.You should
made
Change the verb form
make
be made
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 rules for the stores,
should
Correct pronoun usage
which should
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applicable
Add a missing verb
be applicable
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for
Change preposition
to
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 these rules. Thank you for your time and consideration. Yours faithfully, Rabia.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to provide a clearer structure in your letter by separating your introduction, details of the accident, and suggestions into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Make sure to maintain a formal writing style throughout your letter to enhance the professional tone.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure to enhance the readability of your message.
task achievement
You successfully explained the accident and your situation as a school teacher, which helps establish the context.
coherence and cohesion
Your closing is appropriately formal, and you thanked the manager for their time, which is a nice touch.
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