IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

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The two plans depict the changes in a public
park
Use synonyms
 through the years from 1920 until today.
Overall
Linking Words
, there have been numerous changes. I believe that the replacement of the fountain in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
park
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 with a
rose
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garden
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 surrounding with seats was among the most prominent ones. Today, all other seating areas in the
park
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 have been removed. In 1920, there were two central entrances to the
park
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, one from Arnold Avenue, and one from Eldon Street. Both of them remain open until today.
However
Linking Words
, in the
park
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facilities
Add a comma
facilities,
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a
Remove the article
apply
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new underground parking has been added.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the old musical stage and the
rose
Use synonyms
garden
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 from the
side
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 of Eldon Street have been removed in order to
be constructed
Wrong verb form
construct
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 a bigger amphitheatre able to host bigger concerts. The
rose
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garden
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 from the
side
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 of Arnold Avenue remained unchanged.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the other
side
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 of the
park
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, several changes have happened, too. The glasshouse
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been replaced with a water feature and both the
rose
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garden
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 from the
side
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 of Arnold Avenue and the pond have been removed in order
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a new cafe to be added and
a
Change the article
an
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 area specific for children to play.

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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear overview of changes, including specific details, enhancing the introductory sentence to provide a more comprehensive background about the park's significance could strengthen task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using linking words to connect different sections of the essay. For example, using phrases like 'In addition,' or 'Furthermore,' can help the flow and clarity of your writing.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies major changes in the park, providing a thoughtful overview and specific examples of what has changed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recreational facilities
  • landscaping
  • naturalistic
  • amenities
  • formal gardens
  • ergonomic
  • symmetric designs
  • inclusive
  • accessible
  • accommodations
  • native plant species
  • societal changes
  • visitor services
  • community events
  • evolution
  • modern playgrounds
  • wildflower meadows
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