Some people say that when children under 18 are committing a crime they should be punished, while others believe they should be educated. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.

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A high rise can be seen in committing
crimes
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all over the world. It is argued by some people that minor-aged children should be penalized for committing an
offense
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offence
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,
while
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others believe that
education
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should be provided to combat
this
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issue. I concur with the latter statement entirely and will explain the reasons in the following paragraphs with suitable examples. Juvenile delinquency is one of the
crimes
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that should be considered by only giving punishments as one of the solutions as argued by the public. Even though
punishment
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is equal for all criminals, it should not be the
last
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resort.
In other words
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, whether it is adult or minor, all should be given a chance to improve their mistakes on the severity of committing
crimes
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.
For instance
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, if a child is found guilty of pickpocketing,
this
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does not mean he would be given corporal
punishment
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.
This
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punishment
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does not guarantee always change the mindset of children.
Instead
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,
this
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would make them more serious criminals ending up with difficult circumstances.
On the other hand
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, providing children with an
education
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is an effective way to change their perspectives to control the incidents of
crimes
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.
Education
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has played wonderful roles in changing the mindset of people in different aspects.
This
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is the
first
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way where youth should be provided proper guidance on how to stop indulging in these
crimes
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and make them aware of the results of these activities. Unless they become repeat offenders, they should not be given any
punishment
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if it is not a serious crime. Let us take an example, in an article, it is evident that 50% of youth have stopped committing
crimes
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after they are given proper
education
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.
Therefore
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,
education
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over
punishment
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is the most effective way to control
crimes
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. In conclusion,
although
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penalties are beneficial to bringing down crime rates,
this
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is not only the option to consider.
Instead
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,
education
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is the
first
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and most effective method to change the mindset of the individual. In my opinion, criminals should be only punished
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first
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, if they commit serious
crimes
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for
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first
Change the article
the first
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time intentionally,
otherwise
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, in case of small
offenses
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offences
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, they must be educated.
Submitted by neetpunar on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay contains a logical structure, there can be improvements in the way ideas flow from one paragraph to the next. Use more varied connective phrases to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction and conclusion reflect a clear stance on the topic. Both these sections need to be concise and impactful, summarizing your position effectively.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with more in-depth reasoning and a variety of examples. Avoid being repetitive; instead, expand on ideas by providing further analysis or different perspectives.
task achievement
To fully respond to the task, address all parts of the prompt with sufficient detail. While you did answer the question, expanding on your arguments with further explanation would strengthen your response.
task achievement
Develop your ideas with more comprehensive explanations, making sure each paragraph has one clear main idea and that your essay as a whole addresses the prompt thoroughly.
task achievement
Using specific examples is effective; however, it is essential to ensure they are directly relevant to the argument you are making. Integrate examples in a way that enhances the point being discussed.
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