Some people say that when children under 18 are committing a crime they should be punished, while others believe they should be educated. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.

#people #children #crime

A high rise can be seen in committing

crimes

all over the world. It is argued by some people that minor-aged children should be penalized for committing an

offense

Change the spelling

offence

show examples

while

others believe that

education

should be provided to combat

this

issue. I concur with the latter statement entirely and will explain the reasons in the following paragraphs with suitable examples. Juvenile delinquency is one of the

crimes

that should be considered by only giving punishments as one of the solutions as argued by the public. Even though

punishment

is equal for all criminals, it should not be the

last

resort.

In other words

, whether it is adult or minor, all should be given a chance to improve their mistakes on the severity of committing

crimes

For instance

, if a child is found guilty of pickpocketing,

this

does not mean he would be given corporal

punishment

This

punishment

does not guarantee always change the mindset of children.

Instead

this

would make them more serious criminals ending up with difficult circumstances.

On the other hand

, providing children with an

education

is an effective way to change their perspectives to control the incidents of

crimes

Education

has played wonderful roles in changing the mindset of people in different aspects.

This

is the

first

way where youth should be provided proper guidance on how to stop indulging in these

crimes

and make them aware of the results of these activities. Unless they become repeat offenders, they should not be given any

punishment

if it is not a serious crime. Let us take an example, in an article, it is evident that 50% of youth have stopped committing

crimes

after they are given proper

education

Therefore

education

over

punishment

is the most effective way to control

crimes

. In conclusion,

although

penalties are beneficial to bringing down crime rates,

this

is not only the option to consider.

Instead

education

is the

first

and most effective method to change the mindset of the individual. In my opinion, criminals should be only punished

first

, if they commit serious

crimes

for

first

Change the article

the first

show examples

time intentionally,

otherwise

, in case of small

offenses

Change the spelling

offences

show examples

, they must be educated.

Submitted by neetpunar on Fri Jan 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

While your essay contains a logical structure, there can be improvements in the way ideas flow from one paragraph to the next. Use more varied connective phrases to enhance coherence.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the introduction and conclusion reflect a clear stance on the topic. Both these sections need to be concise and impactful, summarizing your position effectively.

coherence cohesion

Support main points with more in-depth reasoning and a variety of examples. Avoid being repetitive; instead, expand on ideas by providing further analysis or different perspectives.

task achievement

To fully respond to the task, address all parts of the prompt with sufficient detail. While you did answer the question, expanding on your arguments with further explanation would strengthen your response.

task achievement

Develop your ideas with more comprehensive explanations, making sure each paragraph has one clear main idea and that your essay as a whole addresses the prompt thoroughly.

task achievement

Using specific examples is effective; however, it is essential to ensure they are directly relevant to the argument you are making. Integrate examples in a way that enhances the point being discussed.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

355 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that when children under 18 are committing a crime they should be punished, while others believe they should be educated. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

14.With computers and the Internet, people can study and work without going to school or a company. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Crime is becoming a serious concern. Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime. While others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is better for young people to get the advises from old people than young ones. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries schools have severe problems with the student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this ? What solutions can you suggest?