Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree? (opinion question)

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Numberous
Correct your spelling
Numerous
countries are facing various conflicts and criminal activities, to reduce
this
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issue many
people
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are arguing that
prisonment
Correct your spelling
imprisonment
will provide effective protection to tackle
this
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issue
while
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others reject
this
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notion and
believes
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believe
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that
education
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is the key component to preventing complications.
This
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essay will
further
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elaborate on both perspectives and
thus
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will lead to a logical conclusion. - some
people
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consider that enforcing imprisonment immediately solves the issue
,
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apply
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because many offenders
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commit
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committing
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commit
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harsh
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a harsh
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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crime
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crimes
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which
is
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are
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unethical and inhumane providing them
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Change preposition
with education
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education
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with education
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and
self realization
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self-realization
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is
Correct article usage
a waste
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waste
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a waste
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of resources and time.
Therefore
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, instant punishment serves to
preventing
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prevent
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and
safeguarding
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safeguard
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citizens from possible harm.
For example
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, Dubai has no tolerance policies on violence, they often take suitable action against criminals and apply strict punishment to prevent violence.
As a result
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, when serious offenders are behind bars they are no longer to harm society and
people
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can
enhanced
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enhance
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more
Correct article usage
a more
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secure atmosphere. There
are
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is
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multiple evidence that regions with higher literacy rates
are having
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have
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minimum problems and crime ratio,
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education
Correct word choice
and education
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fosters critical thinking and
better
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a better
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approach towards problem reduction. Educating
people
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about rules, regulations and environmental and social improvements not only during their academic career but
also
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with the help of digital platforms
such
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as
,
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apply
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WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook accelerates awareness about effective ways of addressing
this
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crisis.
This
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phenomenon is highly advantageous because it emphasizes
long term
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long-term
show examples
solutions. To recapitulate,
according to
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the arguments aforementioned, one reaches the conclusion that the benefits of imposing imprisonment facilitate instant solutions
of
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to
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the problem.
Nevertheless
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,
positive
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the positive
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impact of
education
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should not be overlooked either.

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task achievement
The introduction outlines both perspectives, which is effective, but it might benefit from a clearer thesis statement that indicates your personal stance more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses clearly on a single main idea and that transitions between points are smoother to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Expand on your examples and explain why they support your argument more thoroughly to strengthen your points and provide clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to vary your vocabulary and sentence structure to keep the reader engaged and to showcase your language proficiency.
task achievement
You've successfully included arguments for both sides of the debate, indicating a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow of ideas, and the conclusion summarizes your points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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