IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Spending by the
government
Use synonyms
into
Change preposition
on
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 all
healthcare
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 and
education
Use synonyms
 to help
people
Use synonyms
can
Verb problem
have
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 easy access without any fees has become an ongoing debate. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss these points in detail.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
government
Use synonyms
 investment in
healthcare
Use synonyms
 reduces the financial burden on individuals, allowing them to spend their money on other areas,
thus
Linking Words
 stimulating the economy.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 are in good health, they can work more effectively . A good example of
this
Linking Words
 case is Japan’s investment in public
healthcare
Use synonyms
 has resulted in one of the healthiest and most productive populations in the world, directly contributing to its economic stability.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when the
government
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 invests more in
healthcare
Use synonyms
, hospitals can upgrade their facilities, hire more qualified doctors and nurses, and provide better medical services.
This
Linking Words
 leads to improved disease prevention, early diagnosis, and effective treatment.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
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 live longer, healthier lives and reduce pressure on the
government
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at controlling
Change preposition
to control
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 public diseases.
Secondly
Linking Words
, funding for
education
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 will help
people
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 easily access and explore
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge in every field in the world, especially in rural areas.
As a result
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,
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 essential knowledge and skills needed to succeed in the modern economy.
This
Linking Words
 leads to better job opportunities, higher salaries, and increased innovation. Countries that invest in
education
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 often see improvements in economic output and competitiveness in global markets. In
conclussion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 totally believe that
education
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 and
healthcare
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 are one of the most significant fields that not only the
government
Use synonyms
 should pay the highest attention
and
Change preposition
to and
show examples
 money
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
 the private companies and society should raise more money.

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coherence and cohesion
Try restructuring some sentences to improve clarity and flow, particularly in the introduction. It would help the reader understand your viewpoint more immediately.
task achievement
Ensure subject-verb agreement in your writing, for instance, use 'can easily access' instead of 'can easy access'.
task achievement
In the conclusion, clarify the role of private companies and society. This will enhance your thesis statement and give your essay a stronger finish.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as Japan's public healthcare system, which strengthens your argument.
task achievement
You clearly articulated the economic benefits of investing in healthcare and education, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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