Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while other people believe they don't. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is argued that some

people

Use synonyms

believe that professional

athletes

Use synonyms

impact adolescents in having bold visions and others believe that professional

athletes

Use synonyms

don't build good aspirations for them. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of these views and my own opinion towards

this

Linking Words

. Looking up to

athletes

Use synonyms

as role models might have a good influence on young

people

Use synonyms

since their work ethic has a high relevance

with

Change preposition

show examples

their victory.

Moreover

Linking Words

, a packed schedule for exercising is already trained when they were young,

this

Linking Words

unyielding mentality leads to successful competition.

For instance

Linking Words

, football players have a training schedule to hone skills, leg focused exercises

such

Linking Words

squat

Fix the agreement mistake

squats

show examples

and lunges are important for their muscles. Overcoming adversity as an athlete in formulating strategies and combating laziness already daily meals for them.

Negative

Correct article usage

A negative

show examples

influence if

people

Use synonyms

look up to

athletes

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

role

model

Fix the agreement mistake

models

show examples

is the reality of only focusing on physical success.

This

Linking Words

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to pressure and stress

due to

Linking Words

daily activities around physical achievement and unrealistic expectations towards goals to be achieved.

For example

Linking Words

, normal

people

Use synonyms

only need to exercise three times per week but

atheletes

Correct your spelling

athletes

need to train their endurance every day,

this

Linking Words

high pressure

Add a hyphen

high-pressure

show examples

lifestyle can not relate to everyone. Despite,

dedication

Correct article usage

the dedication

show examples

and hard work shown

up for

Change preposition

show examples

atheletes

Correct your spelling

athletes

, it

still

Add a missing verb

is still

show examples

applicable for normal

people

Use synonyms

to show up consistently for their

workout

Fix the agreement mistake

workouts

show examples

To conclude

Linking Words

, I believe

athletes

Use synonyms

could bring up positive impact

Change preposition

show examples

youth efficiently.

Athletes

Use synonyms

have a strict lifestyle and might not be suitable for everyone. The drawbacks are not

that

Correct word choice

show examples

much as the positive sides.

belajaraja Mon Feb 24 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Try to provide a clearer distinction between the two viewpoints in your introduction. It would help to explicitly state what the benefits and drawbacks are at the beginning.

Task Response

Make sure to clearly and accurately articulate your own opinion in the conclusion. The phrase 'might not be suitable for everyone' could be more definitive.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider strengthening your supporting main points. For instance, expand on how the dedication of athletes could inspire young people to pursue various fields, not just sports.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on sentence structure and grammar. There are a few grammatical errors that could be polished for increased clarity, such as 'atheatletes' instead of 'athletes'.

Content

You present a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the topic.

Content

Your use of examples, such as the dedication and training programs of athletes, adds depth to your argument and supports your points well.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Role model
Professional athlete
Positive influence
Work ethic
Charitable activities
Endorsement
Overcoming adversity
Misconduct
Overemphasis
Physical success
Unrealistic expectations
High-pressure
Media spotlight
Perceptions
Behavior
Inspiring
Diverse role models

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
You have just read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor of t he magazine. In you letter •Correct the information in the acritical •Explain whey its is important for the magazine to vie the correct information •Suggest what the magazine should do about this situation
I hope you are doing great. I am writing this letter to tell you that I read a column in your magazine regarding the information about the urban areas of our country in which some knowledge about my town is wrong. I read the whole interesting article but the only thing which should be changed is related to the Flower City.
7.5
band
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is often said that music has the power to unite and connect people, regardless of their cultural backgrounds or ages. I completely agree with this view, and will give my reasons below.
7.5
band
Your school would like to increase the number of students going on four-week trips to the UK. you have been asked by school principal to write a proposal with recommendations for getting more students to go on these trips. you have got feedback from the students who went on the most recent trip, including what they were positive about, and what problems
Organizing study trips for students is quite impressive to exceed student knowledge. However, the school principal thinks the numbers could be increased. This report aims to summarise the views of participants from the recent month-long trip to the UK and to offer some suggestions for increasing student satisfaction in the future.
7
band
The best way to motivate employees is to increase their salaries. Do you agree with this statement? Are there any other ways to encourage employees to work more efficiently?
Employees require continuous encouragement to foster a productive environment. It is argued that a great remuneration is the right method to keep them motivated, however, I believe hefty paychecks alone are insufficient, and additional measures are necessary to sustain a healthy work culture and maintain momentum.
6.5
band
Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that financial topics and courses should be prioritized over students’ teaching as well as other mandatory subjects at schools to help students prepare for managing financial issues in the future. I strongly agree with this trend and believe that the government should try to implement the policy to teach financial subjects and skills at schools.

Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while other people believe they don't. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The best way to motivate employees is to increase their salaries. Do you agree with this statement? Are there any other ways to encourage employees to work more efficiently?

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?