IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Zhazira.

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Zhazira.
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The chart gives information about
cause
Add an article
the cause
show examples
 why employers move to
work
Use synonyms
 by auto-machine and by bicycle.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparent
seen
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that people
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 the bicycle for travelling and for cases health and fitness
also
Linking Words
 less pollution,
while
Linking Words
car
Add an article
the car
show examples
 is chosen
due to
Linking Words
 comfort and distance to
work
Use synonyms
. The bicycle is chosen among a lot of humans, the results are
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 health and fitness and less pollution which have equal results 30%. Half of thirty
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 demonstrates
due to
Linking Words
 no parking problems.
However
Linking Words
, 13% of users take it because of no costs and
cycling
Correct word choice
because cycling
show examples
 costs
cheap
Add a missing verb
are cheap
show examples
. It is selected
12
Change preposition
by 12
show examples
% of workers for the reason that it
faster
Add a missing verb
is faster
show examples
 than driving.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
is attracted
Wrong verb form
attracts
show examples
 the largest amount
ofworkers
Correct your spelling
of workers
 and
its
Correct your spelling
it has
show examples
 selected
40
Change preposition
by 40
show examples
% of humanity
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for comfort and 12% for distance to
work
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
equivalent
Correct article usage
an equivalent
show examples
 14% are preferred owing to its faster than cycling and
need
Correct article usage
the need
show examples
 to carry things to
work
Use synonyms
. 11% of them owned
as a result
Linking Words
 of its safer than cycling.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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